When they asked Jack Benny to do something for the Actor's Orphanage - he shot both his parents and moved in.
Quote by Bob Hope
You've got to be rich to have a swing like that.
I've always been in the right place and time. Of course, I steered myself there.
He hits the ball 130 yards and his jewelry goes 150.
I like to play in the low 70's. If it gets any hotter than that...
I'm so old they've canceled my blood type.
Your ignorance cramps my conversation
Bigamy is the only crime where two rites make a wrong.
Middle age is when you still believe you'll feel better in the morning.
When we recall the past, we usually find that it is the simplest things -...
I have seen what a laugh can do. It can transform almost unbearable tears into...
If you haven't got any charity in your heart, you have the worst kind of...
If I'm on the course and lightning starts, I get inside fast. If God wants...
If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play it, it's recreation. If you...
She said she was approaching forty, and I couldn't help wondering from what direction.
If I have to lay an egg for my country, I'll do it.
I'll tell 'ya how to stay young: Hang around with older people
I thought 'Deep Throat' was a movie about a giraffe.
I love running cross country....On a track, I feel like a hamster.
I know how to do anythingI'm a mom
Where children are, there is the golden age.
In Europe an actor is an artist. In Hollywood, if he isn't working, he's a...