When I was a boy, my mother wore a mood ring. When she was in a good mood it turned blue. In a bad mood, it left a big red mark on my forehead.
Quote by Jeff Shaw
I would there were no age between ten and three-and-twenty, or that youth would sleep...
My Father had a profound influence on me, he was a lunatic.
when life gives you lemons make orange juice and leave them wondering how you did...
But probably every age gets, within certain limits, the science it deserves.
Why is there so much controversy about drug testing? I know plenty of guys who...
Information is the oxygen of the modern age. It seeps through the walls topped by...
School is pointless! English: We speak it. History: They're dead, get over it. Math: 1+1...
The only thing that interferes with my learning is my education.
This New Years, I'm going to party like Maury just told me I'm not the...
Youth is the time of getting, middle age of improving, and old age of spending.
Mathematics consists in proving the most obvious thing in the least obvious way.
He'd make a lovely corpse.
Zombies are looking for brains. Don't worry. You're safe.
I've been doing the Fonda workout: the Peter Fonda workout. That's where I wake up,...
How has retirement affected my golf game? A lot more people beat me now.
Try not to become a man of success, but rather try to become a man...
In life, it's not who you know that's important, it's how your wife found out.
Facebook's timeline is my favorite way to watch girls from high school get fat.
Be not affronted at a joke. If one throw salt at thee, thou wilt receive...
My wife was fitted with a coil. For about 18 months I hated it! She...