When I got on Stern I realized that this was the one job where you could be really honest and open, almost like Richard Pryor or something. You can be honest about your life and get laughs.

Quote by Artie Lange

Topics: Artie Lange Quotes

When I black out, it's the happiest time of my life.

When I black out, it's the happiest time of my life.

Have you ever Googled yourself? I did, most depressing thing ever. People have websites hoping...

Have you ever Googled yourself? I did, most depressing thing ever. People have websites hoping...

I was at Yankee Stadium one time at 5 a.m., but that was to buy...

I was at Yankee Stadium one time at 5 a.m., but that was to buy...

It is funny because the guy who is my boss now, Howard Stern, has a...

It is funny because the guy who is my boss now, Howard Stern, has a...

I'm not going to lie to you fellas, I've been drinking.

I'm not going to lie to you fellas, I've been drinking.

And now it looks like I'm probably going to shoot a movie that I wrote....

And now it looks like I'm probably going to shoot a movie that I wrote....

I am not the easiest guy to live with. It is probably the lack of...

I am not the easiest guy to live with. It is probably the lack of...

A weekend in Vegas without gambling and drinking is just like being a born-again Christian.

A weekend in Vegas without gambling and drinking is just like being a born-again Christian.

Everytime I go to Vegas, I seem to incur some kind of fine.

Everytime I go to Vegas, I seem to incur some kind of fine.

Of course in show business there are two ways to play it and I am...

Of course in show business there are two ways to play it and I am...

Artie is going to do what ever Artie wants to do.

Artie is going to do what ever Artie wants to do.

Whiskey will always be a part of my life.

Whiskey will always be a part of my life.

Vegas means comedy, tragedy, happiness and sadness all at the same time.

Vegas means comedy, tragedy, happiness and sadness all at the same time.

The regular guy still relates to him and Howard is a $500 million guy now...

The regular guy still relates to him and Howard is a $500 million guy now...

By the time I am Howard's age I hope to be long retired. I don't...

By the time I am Howard's age I hope to be long retired. I don't...

The point of drinking in moderation is that sometimes you don't drink in moderation.

The point of drinking in moderation is that sometimes you don't drink in moderation.

I have been in a lot of movies, but none of them are critics' darlings,...

I have been in a lot of movies, but none of them are critics' darlings,...