The regular guy still relates to him and Howard is a $500 million guy now who dates a model and drives about in a limo all day. But Howard still knows how to make a plumber laugh and those guys…

Quote by Artie Lange

Topics: Artie Lange Quotes

When I got on Stern I realized that this was the one job where you...

When I got on Stern I realized that this was the one job where you...

I have been in a lot of movies, but none of them are critics' darlings,...

I have been in a lot of movies, but none of them are critics' darlings,...

By the time I am Howard's age I hope to be long retired. I don't...

By the time I am Howard's age I hope to be long retired. I don't...

When I black out, it's the happiest time of my life.

When I black out, it's the happiest time of my life.

Artie is going to do what ever Artie wants to do.

Artie is going to do what ever Artie wants to do.

I'm not going to lie to you fellas, I've been drinking.

I'm not going to lie to you fellas, I've been drinking.

Have you ever Googled yourself? I did, most depressing thing ever. People have websites hoping...

Have you ever Googled yourself? I did, most depressing thing ever. People have websites hoping...

A weekend in Vegas without gambling and drinking is just like being a born-again Christian.

A weekend in Vegas without gambling and drinking is just like being a born-again Christian.

I was at Yankee Stadium one time at 5 a.m., but that was to buy...

I was at Yankee Stadium one time at 5 a.m., but that was to buy...

Everytime I go to Vegas, I seem to incur some kind of fine.

Everytime I go to Vegas, I seem to incur some kind of fine.

And now it looks like I'm probably going to shoot a movie that I wrote....

And now it looks like I'm probably going to shoot a movie that I wrote....

Vegas means comedy, tragedy, happiness and sadness all at the same time.

Vegas means comedy, tragedy, happiness and sadness all at the same time.

It is funny because the guy who is my boss now, Howard Stern, has a...

It is funny because the guy who is my boss now, Howard Stern, has a...

Whiskey will always be a part of my life.

Whiskey will always be a part of my life.

The point of drinking in moderation is that sometimes you don't drink in moderation.

The point of drinking in moderation is that sometimes you don't drink in moderation.

I am not the easiest guy to live with. It is probably the lack of...

I am not the easiest guy to live with. It is probably the lack of...

Of course in show business there are two ways to play it and I am...

Of course in show business there are two ways to play it and I am...