Well it's about f**kin time. Get over here and do me.

Quote by Samantha Jones

Topics: Samantha Jones Quotes

I think I have monogamy. I caught it from you people.

I think I have monogamy. I caught it from you people.

He's a guy. They don't talk, they fight. It's all that crazy testosterone.

He's a guy. They don't talk, they fight. It's all that crazy testosterone.

Emotional" is just code for "I don't want to hire a woman.

Yes ladies. I am a lesbian.

Yes ladies. I am a lesbian.

I'm paying a fortune to live in a neighbouhood that's trendy by day and trannie...

I'm paying a fortune to live in a neighbouhood that's trendy by day and trannie...

Fuck me badly once, shame on you. Fuck me badly twice, shame on me.

Fuck me badly once, shame on you. Fuck me badly twice, shame on me.

No one thinks it's narcissistic when you get your seventh grade picture taken.

No one thinks it's narcissistic when you get your seventh grade picture taken.

All we ever do is lie around, take baths together and talk about feelings.

All we ever do is lie around, take baths together and talk about feelings.

I take offense at that generalisation. Not all women sit around and obsess about men,...

I take offense at that generalisation. Not all women sit around and obsess about men,...

Honey, what's the point of being in the suburbs if you're not going to f**k...

Honey, what's the point of being in the suburbs if you're not going to f**k...

Last night, I could not stop thinking about a Big Mac. I finally had to...

Last night, I could not stop thinking about a Big Mac. I finally had to...

A guy can just as easily dump you if you fuck him on the first...

A guy can just as easily dump you if you fuck him on the first...

Be damn sure before you get off the ferris wheel, because there are twenty-two perky...

Be damn sure before you get off the ferris wheel, because there are twenty-two perky...

Sex with an ex can be depressing. If it's good, you don't have it anymore....

Sex with an ex can be depressing. If it's good, you don't have it anymore....

Who cares what you are just enjoy it!

Who cares what you are just enjoy it!

For the last time, the only thing I like about Richard is his big,throbbing, rock...

For the last time, the only thing I like about Richard is his big,throbbing, rock...

I don't know how you people do it! All that emotional chow chow, it's exhausting!

I don't know how you people do it! All that emotional chow chow, it's exhausting!

I spent the last two hours f**king with no finale.

I spent the last two hours f**king with no finale.

Hello, 911? I'm on fire.

Hello, 911? I'm on fire.

Oh come on, if you're going to get a vibrator, at least get one called...

Oh come on, if you're going to get a vibrator, at least get one called...