All we ever do is lie around, take baths together and talk about feelings.

Quote by Samantha Jones

Topics: Samantha Jones Quotes

Fuck me badly once, shame on you. Fuck me badly twice, shame on me.

Fuck me badly once, shame on you. Fuck me badly twice, shame on me.

No one thinks it's narcissistic when you get your seventh grade picture taken.

No one thinks it's narcissistic when you get your seventh grade picture taken.

Can we cut the cake? I have a three-way to go to.

Can we cut the cake? I have a three-way to go to.

Honey, what's the point of being in the suburbs if you're not going to f**k...

Honey, what's the point of being in the suburbs if you're not going to f**k...

He's a guy. They don't talk, they fight. It's all that crazy testosterone.

He's a guy. They don't talk, they fight. It's all that crazy testosterone.

All married couples stop having sex eventually.

All married couples stop having sex eventually.

Well, I'll admit I have had to polish myself off once or twice, but yes!...

Well, I'll admit I have had to polish myself off once or twice, but yes!...

I will wear whatever and blow whomever I want as long as I can breathe...

I will wear whatever and blow whomever I want as long as I can breathe...

Who cares what you are just enjoy it!

Who cares what you are just enjoy it!

Hello, 911? I'm on fire.

Hello, 911? I'm on fire.

The country runs better with a good looking man in the White House. Look what...

The country runs better with a good looking man in the White House. Look what...

For the last time, the only thing I like about Richard is his big,throbbing, rock...

For the last time, the only thing I like about Richard is his big,throbbing, rock...

Honey, you look back so much you should have a relationship rear-view mirror.

Honey, you look back so much you should have a relationship rear-view mirror.

I'm a trisexual. I'll try anything once.

I'm a trisexual. I'll try anything once.

Be damn sure before you get off the ferris wheel, because there are twenty-two perky...

Be damn sure before you get off the ferris wheel, because there are twenty-two perky...

I take offense at that generalisation. Not all women sit around and obsess about men,...

I take offense at that generalisation. Not all women sit around and obsess about men,...

I'm paying a fortune to live in a neighbouhood that's trendy by day and trannie...

I'm paying a fortune to live in a neighbouhood that's trendy by day and trannie...

A guy can just as easily dump you if you fuck him on the first...

A guy can just as easily dump you if you fuck him on the first...

Emotional" is just code for "I don't want to hire a woman.

I don't know how you people do it! All that emotional chow chow, it's exhausting!

I don't know how you people do it! All that emotional chow chow, it's exhausting!