Honey, you look back so much you should have a relationship rear-view mirror.

Quote by Samantha Jones

Topics: Samantha Jones Quotes

No one thinks it's narcissistic when you get your seventh grade picture taken.

No one thinks it's narcissistic when you get your seventh grade picture taken.

I think I have monogamy. I caught it from you people.

I think I have monogamy. I caught it from you people.

I don't know how you people do it! All that emotional chow chow, it's exhausting!

I don't know how you people do it! All that emotional chow chow, it's exhausting!

Yes ladies. I am a lesbian.

Yes ladies. I am a lesbian.

Honey, what's the point of being in the suburbs if you're not going to f**k...

Honey, what's the point of being in the suburbs if you're not going to f**k...

Transexuals. Chicks with d**ks. Boobs on top, balls down below.

Transexuals. Chicks with d**ks. Boobs on top, balls down below.

A guy can just as easily dump you if you fuck him on the first...

A guy can just as easily dump you if you fuck him on the first...

Who cares what you are just enjoy it!

Who cares what you are just enjoy it!

For the last time, the only thing I like about Richard is his big,throbbing, rock...

For the last time, the only thing I like about Richard is his big,throbbing, rock...

I'm a trisexual. I'll try anything once.

I'm a trisexual. I'll try anything once.

Be damn sure before you get off the ferris wheel, because there are twenty-two perky...

Be damn sure before you get off the ferris wheel, because there are twenty-two perky...

Hey, you almost masturbated, he almost got it up, together you almost had sex.

Hey, you almost masturbated, he almost got it up, together you almost had sex.

I spent the last two hours f**king with no finale.

I spent the last two hours f**king with no finale.

Hello, 911? I'm on fire.

Hello, 911? I'm on fire.

Well, I'll admit I have had to polish myself off once or twice, but yes!...

Well, I'll admit I have had to polish myself off once or twice, but yes!...

I take offense at that generalisation. Not all women sit around and obsess about men,...

I take offense at that generalisation. Not all women sit around and obsess about men,...

Sex with an ex can be depressing. If it's good, you don't have it anymore....

Sex with an ex can be depressing. If it's good, you don't have it anymore....

Can we cut the cake? I have a three-way to go to.

Can we cut the cake? I have a three-way to go to.

I will wear whatever and blow whomever I want as long as I can breathe...

I will wear whatever and blow whomever I want as long as I can breathe...

All we ever do is lie around, take baths together and talk about feelings.

All we ever do is lie around, take baths together and talk about feelings.