We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture.

Quote by Robin Williams

Topics: Robin Williams Quotes

Reality is just a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs.

Reality is just a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs.

Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?

Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?

People say satire is dead. It's not dead; it's alive and living in the White...

People say satire is dead. It's not dead; it's alive and living in the White...

The Russians love Brooke Shields because her eyebrows remind them of Leonid Brezhnev.

The Russians love Brooke Shields because her eyebrows remind them of Leonid Brezhnev.

You'll notice that Nancy Reagan never drinks water when Ronnie speaks.

You'll notice that Nancy Reagan never drinks water when Ronnie speaks.

What's right is what's left if you do everything else wrong.

What's right is what's left if you do everything else wrong.

You're only given a little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it.

You're only given a little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it.

The Statue of Liberty is no longer saying, 'Give me your poor, your tired, your...

The Statue of Liberty is no longer saying, 'Give me your poor, your tired, your...

I believe Ronald Reagan can make this country what it once was... a large Arctic...

I believe Ronald Reagan can make this country what it once was... a large Arctic...

I like my wine like my women - ready to pass out.

I like my wine like my women - ready to pass out.

When the media ask George W. Bush a question, he answers, 'Can I use a...

When the media ask George W. Bush a question, he answers, 'Can I use a...

Reality: What a concept!

Reality: What a concept!

Ah, yes, Divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a mans genitals through...

Ah, yes, Divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a mans genitals through...

Spring is nature's way of saying, Let's party!

Spring is nature's way of saying, Let's party!

Politics: Poli a Latin word meaning many; and tics meaning bloodsucking creatures.

Politics: Poli a Latin word meaning many; and tics meaning bloodsucking creatures.

When in doubt, go for the dick joke.

When in doubt, go for the dick joke.

Comedy is acting out optimism.

Comedy is acting out optimism.

When you look at Prince Charles, don't you think that someone in the Royal family...

When you look at Prince Charles, don't you think that someone in the Royal family...

We've had cloning in the South for years. It's called cousins.

We've had cloning in the South for years. It's called cousins.

Never pick a fight with an ugly person, they've got nothing to lose.

Never pick a fight with an ugly person, they've got nothing to lose.