We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture.

Quote by Robin Williams

Topics: Robin Williams Quotes

Do you think God gets stoned? I think so... look at the platypus.

Do you think God gets stoned? I think so... look at the platypus.

I love running cross country....On a track, I feel like a hamster.

I love running cross country....On a track, I feel like a hamster.

Freud: If its not one thing, its your mother.

Freud: If its not one thing, its your mother.

The Russians love Brooke Shields because her eyebrows remind them of Leonid Brezhnev.

The Russians love Brooke Shields because her eyebrows remind them of Leonid Brezhnev.

Ah, yes, divorce... from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through...

Ah, yes, divorce... from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through...

You'll notice that Nancy Reagan never drinks water when Ronnie speaks.

You'll notice that Nancy Reagan never drinks water when Ronnie speaks.

Spring is nature's way of saying, Let's party!

Spring is nature's way of saying, Let's party!

God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply...

God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply...

Ah, yes, divorce ... from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals...

Ah, yes, divorce ... from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals...

People say satire is dead. It's not dead; it's alive and living in the White...

People say satire is dead. It's not dead; it's alive and living in the White...

When in doubt, go for the dick joke.

When in doubt, go for the dick joke.

See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only...

See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only...

Cocaine is God's way of saying you're making too much money.

Cocaine is God's way of saying you're making too much money.

Men wearing pants so tight that you can tell what religion they are.

Men wearing pants so tight that you can tell what religion they are.

What's right is what's left if you do everything else wrong.

What's right is what's left if you do everything else wrong.

Ah, yes, Divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a mans genitals through...

Ah, yes, Divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a mans genitals through...

I like my wine like my women -- ready to pass out.

I like my wine like my women -- ready to pass out.

Ah, yes, divorce ... from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals...

Ah, yes, divorce ... from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals...

Our comedies are not to be laughed at.

Our comedies are not to be laughed at.

Comedy is very controlling - you are making people laugh. It is there in the...

Comedy is very controlling - you are making people laugh. It is there in the...

Divorce is born of perverted morals and leads to vicious habits

Divorce is born of perverted morals and leads to vicious habits

There must be a law against forcing children to perform at an early age. Children...

There must be a law against forcing children to perform at an early age. Children...

A sense of humor is the only divine quality of man.

A sense of humor is the only divine quality of man.