To attract men, I wear a perfume called New Car Interior.

Quote by Rita Rudner

Topics: Rita Rudner Quotes

It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the...

It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the...

My grandmother was a very tough woman. She buried three husbands and two of them...

My grandmother was a very tough woman. She buried three husbands and two of them...

The older theory was, marry an older man because they're more mature. But the new...

The older theory was, marry an older man because they're more mature. But the new...

I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want...

I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want...

My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child....

My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child....

Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I...

Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I...

Whenever I date a guy, I think, 'Is this the man I want my children...

Whenever I date a guy, I think, 'Is this the man I want my children...

When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was...

When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was...

Before I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love. I'd stepped in it a...

Before I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love. I'd stepped in it a...

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.

I got kicked out of ballet class because I pulled a groin muscle. It wasn't...

I got kicked out of ballet class because I pulled a groin muscle. It wasn't...

It wasn't that no one asked me to the prom, it was that no one...

It wasn't that no one asked me to the prom, it was that no one...

We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet - so we bought a...

We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet - so we bought a...

My mother is such a lousy cook that Thanksgiving at her house is a time...

My mother is such a lousy cook that Thanksgiving at her house is a time...

Men reach their sexual peak at eighteen. Women reach theirs at thirty-five. Do you get...

Men reach their sexual peak at eighteen. Women reach theirs at thirty-five. Do you get...

My husband gave me a necklace. It's fake. I requested fake. Maybe I'm paranoid, but...

My husband gave me a necklace. It's fake. I requested fake. Maybe I'm paranoid, but...

Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy, the first question I ask myself is:...

Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy, the first question I ask myself is:...

Most turkeys taste better the day after, my mother's tasted better the day before

Most turkeys taste better the day after, my mother's tasted better the day before

Public and private food in America has become eatable, here and there extremely good. Only...

Public and private food in America has become eatable, here and there extremely good. Only...

You know it's a sad day when your child looks at you and asks 'Daddy,...

You know it's a sad day when your child looks at you and asks 'Daddy,...