Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be.

Quote by Rita Rudner

Topics: Funny Quotes, Money Quotes

Some women hold up dresses that are so ugly and they always say the same...

Some women hold up dresses that are so ugly and they always say the same...

It's so great to find that one special person You want to annoy for the...

It's so great to find that one special person You want to annoy for the...

Men who tell you they read the Ann Summers catalogue for the articles are lying.

Men who tell you they read the Ann Summers catalogue for the articles are lying.

The time you spend grieving over a man should never exceed the amount of time...

The time you spend grieving over a man should never exceed the amount of time...

Men reach their sexual peak at eighteen. Women reach theirs at thirty-five. Do you get...

Men reach their sexual peak at eighteen. Women reach theirs at thirty-five. Do you get...

I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight.

I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight.

I don't plan to grow old gracefully. I plan to have face-lifts until my ears...

I don't plan to grow old gracefully. I plan to have face-lifts until my ears...

We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet - so we bought a...

We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet - so we bought a...

When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was...

When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was...

Neurotics build castles in the air, psychotics live in them. My mother cleans them.

Neurotics build castles in the air, psychotics live in them. My mother cleans them.

My grandmother was a very tough woman. She buried three husbands and two of them...

My grandmother was a very tough woman. She buried three husbands and two of them...

Some people think having large breasts makes a woman stupid. Actually, it's quite the opposite:...

Some people think having large breasts makes a woman stupid. Actually, it's quite the opposite:...

I know I want to have children while my parents are still young enough to...

I know I want to have children while my parents are still young enough to...

Men reach their sexual peak at eighteen. Women reach theirs at thirty-five. Do you get...

Men reach their sexual peak at eighteen. Women reach theirs at thirty-five. Do you get...

Whenever I date a guy, I think, 'Is this the man I want my children...

Whenever I date a guy, I think, 'Is this the man I want my children...

Life is tough enough without having someone kick you from the inside.

Life is tough enough without having someone kick you from the inside.

My husband gave me a necklace. It's fake. I requested fake. Maybe I'm paranoid, but...

My husband gave me a necklace. It's fake. I requested fake. Maybe I'm paranoid, but...

I think he [Archie Bunker] is in every man my age, no matter what he...

I think he [Archie Bunker] is in every man my age, no matter what he...

The hallmark of our age is the tension between aspirations and sluggish institutions.

The hallmark of our age is the tension between aspirations and sluggish institutions.

Dr Blair . . . asked . . . whether he thought any man of...

Dr Blair . . . asked . . . whether he thought any man of...