Whenever I date a guy, I think, 'Is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?'

Quote by Rita Rudner

Topics: Rita Rudner Quotes

Men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage - they've experienced pain...

Men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage - they've experienced pain...

Men who tell you they read the Ann Summers catalogue for the articles are lying.

Men who tell you they read the Ann Summers catalogue for the articles are lying.

Most turkeys taste better the day after, my mother's tasted better the day before

Most turkeys taste better the day after, my mother's tasted better the day before

I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced...

I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced...

We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet - so we bought a...

We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet - so we bought a...

Men reach their sexual peak at eighteen. Women reach theirs at thirty-five. Do you get...

Men reach their sexual peak at eighteen. Women reach theirs at thirty-five. Do you get...

I don't plan to grow old gracefully. I plan to have face-lifts until my ears...

I don't plan to grow old gracefully. I plan to have face-lifts until my ears...

I don't think jogging is healthy, especially morning jogging. If morning joggers knew how tempting...

I don't think jogging is healthy, especially morning jogging. If morning joggers knew how tempting...

Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect...

Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect...

When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was...

When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was...

Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to...

Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to...

My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child....

My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child....

My mother buried three husbands - and two of them were only napping.

My mother buried three husbands - and two of them were only napping.

Some women hold up dresses that are so ugly and they always say the same...

Some women hold up dresses that are so ugly and they always say the same...

My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want...

My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want...

Beer is good food

Beer is good food

My grandmother was a very tough woman. She buried three husbands and two of them...

My grandmother was a very tough woman. She buried three husbands and two of them...

I got kicked out of ballet class because I pulled a groin muscle. It wasn't...

I got kicked out of ballet class because I pulled a groin muscle. It wasn't...

I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want...

I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want...

Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy, the first question I ask myself is:...

Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy, the first question I ask myself is:...