Theyre talking about banning cigarette smoking now in any place thats used by ten or more people in a week, which, I guess, means that Madonna cant even smoke in bed.

Quote by Bill Maher

Topics: Awesome Quotes, Funny Quotes

Suicide is man's way of telling God, You can't fire me - I quit

Suicide is man's way of telling God, You can't fire me - I quit

And to answer the question that people have about this conspiracy theory that he has...

And to answer the question that people have about this conspiracy theory that he has...

When we make mistakes they call it evil

When we make mistakes they call it evil

Bush gave an interview and he said people will vote for him because 'They've seen...

Bush gave an interview and he said people will vote for him because 'They've seen...

Men are only as loyal as their options.

Men are only as loyal as their options.

Everything that used to be a sin is now a disease.

Everything that used to be a sin is now a disease.

If you were on a sinking ship and yelled, Women and children first! how much...

If you were on a sinking ship and yelled, Women and children first! how much...

Abstinence is a perversion.

Abstinence is a perversion.

The younger generation is supposed to rage against the machine, not for it. They're supposed...

The younger generation is supposed to rage against the machine, not for it. They're supposed...

The tea baggers. The one thing they hate is when you call them racist. The...

The tea baggers. The one thing they hate is when you call them racist. The...

If you think you have it tough, read history books.

If you think you have it tough, read history books.

Our mistakes from the past are just that: mistakes. And they were necessary to make...

Our mistakes from the past are just that: mistakes. And they were necessary to make...

Everything that used to be a sin is now a disease.

Everything that used to be a sin is now a disease.

The jury could get the case as early as next week, but the defense says...

The jury could get the case as early as next week, but the defense says...

People have romantic notions about television. In the highest realms they think it's some sort...

People have romantic notions about television. In the highest realms they think it's some sort...

Curious people are intersting people, I wonder why that is.

Curious people are intersting people, I wonder why that is.

Men are only as loyal as their options.

Men are only as loyal as their options.

And mankind is naught but a single nation

And mankind is naught but a single nation

The human race has had long experience and a fine tradition in surviving adversity. But...

The human race has had long experience and a fine tradition in surviving adversity. But...

How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve...

How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve...

Humor is an affirmation of dignity, a declaration of man's superiority to all that befalls...

Humor is an affirmation of dignity, a declaration of man's superiority to all that befalls...

When a distinguished but elderly scientist states that something is possible, he is almost certainly...

When a distinguished but elderly scientist states that something is possible, he is almost certainly...