Theyre talking about banning cigarette smoking now in any place thats used by ten or more people in a week, which, I guess, means that Madonna cant even smoke in bed.

Quote by Bill Maher

Topics: Awesome Quotes, Funny Quotes

We have been the cowards lobbing cruise missiles from 2,000 miles away. That's cowardly. Staying...

We have been the cowards lobbing cruise missiles from 2,000 miles away. That's cowardly. Staying...

The younger generation is supposed to rage against the machine, not for it. They're supposed...

The younger generation is supposed to rage against the machine, not for it. They're supposed...

Everything that used to be a sin is now a disease.

Everything that used to be a sin is now a disease.

And to answer the question that people have about this conspiracy theory that he has...

And to answer the question that people have about this conspiracy theory that he has...

I do think the patriotic thing to do is to critique my country. How else...

I do think the patriotic thing to do is to critique my country. How else...

And to answer the question that people have about this conspiracy theory that he has...

And to answer the question that people have about this conspiracy theory that he has...

It's all been satirized for your protection.

It's all been satirized for your protection.

President Bush is supporting Arnold but a lot of Republicans are not, because he is...

President Bush is supporting Arnold but a lot of Republicans are not, because he is...

Iraq now says that it will, after all, destroy its missiles. President Bush said, 'Please,...

Iraq now says that it will, after all, destroy its missiles. President Bush said, 'Please,...

Religion, to me, is a bureaucracy between man and God that I don't need.

Religion, to me, is a bureaucracy between man and God that I don't need.

We need more people speaking out. This country is not overrun with rebels and free...

We need more people speaking out. This country is not overrun with rebels and free...

Whenever the people are for gay marriage or medical marijuana or assisted suicide, suddenly the...

Whenever the people are for gay marriage or medical marijuana or assisted suicide, suddenly the...

Maybe every other American movie shouldn't be based on a comic book. Other countries will...

Maybe every other American movie shouldn't be based on a comic book. Other countries will...

My wife always has a splitting archetype whenever I want to have sex.

My wife always has a splitting archetype whenever I want to have sex.

Let's face it; God has a big ego problem. Why do we always have to...

Let's face it; God has a big ego problem. Why do we always have to...

We are a nation that is unenlightened because of religion. I do believe that. I...

We are a nation that is unenlightened because of religion. I do believe that. I...

And to answer the question that people have about this conspiracy theory that he has...

And to answer the question that people have about this conspiracy theory that he has...

Clinton left the White House with all the class of an XFL halftime show.

Clinton left the White House with all the class of an XFL halftime show.

The country has become much more conservative, partly because it's been taken over by the...

The country has become much more conservative, partly because it's been taken over by the...

Curious people are intersting people, I wonder why that is.

Curious people are intersting people, I wonder why that is.