Theyre talking about banning cigarette smoking now in any place thats used by ten or more people in a week, which, I guess, means that Madonna cant even smoke in bed.

Quote by Bill Maher

Topics: Awesome Quotes, Funny Quotes

NEW RULE: 'Kidiots' Leave the children behind. At least until they learn something. A new...

NEW RULE: 'Kidiots' Leave the children behind. At least until they learn something. A new...

Everything that used to be a sin is now a disease.

Everything that used to be a sin is now a disease.

The Clinton White House today said they would start to give national security and intelligence...

The Clinton White House today said they would start to give national security and intelligence...

I have a high state of resentment for the conformity in this country. If you're...

I have a high state of resentment for the conformity in this country. If you're...

When we talk about values, I think of rationality in solving problems. Thats something I...

When we talk about values, I think of rationality in solving problems. Thats something I...

Maybe every other American movie shouldn't be based on a comic book. Other countries will...

Maybe every other American movie shouldn't be based on a comic book. Other countries will...

I do think the patriotic thing to do is to critique my country. How else...

I do think the patriotic thing to do is to critique my country. How else...

When you want to make it clear to the rest of the world that you...

When you want to make it clear to the rest of the world that you...

I never thought I'd say this, what Obama needs in his personality is a little...

I never thought I'd say this, what Obama needs in his personality is a little...

Our mistakes from the past are just that: mistakes. And they were necessary to make...

Our mistakes from the past are just that: mistakes. And they were necessary to make...

And to answer the question that people have about this conspiracy theory that he has...

And to answer the question that people have about this conspiracy theory that he has...

Religion, to me, is a bureaucracy between man and God that I don't need.

Religion, to me, is a bureaucracy between man and God that I don't need.

Men are only as loyal as their options.

Men are only as loyal as their options.

Whenever the people are for gay marriage or medical marijuana or assisted suicide, suddenly the...

Whenever the people are for gay marriage or medical marijuana or assisted suicide, suddenly the...

If I wanted to have wooden sex with strings attached I'd get married. In reference...

If I wanted to have wooden sex with strings attached I'd get married. In reference...

And to answer the question that people have about this conspiracy theory that he has...

And to answer the question that people have about this conspiracy theory that he has...

People have romantic notions about television. In the highest realms they think it's some sort...

People have romantic notions about television. In the highest realms they think it's some sort...

The jury could get the case as early as next week, but the defense says...

The jury could get the case as early as next week, but the defense says...

We have been the cowards lobbing cruise missiles from 2,000 miles away. That's cowardly. Staying...

We have been the cowards lobbing cruise missiles from 2,000 miles away. That's cowardly. Staying...

Things aren't right. If a burglar breaks into your home and you shoot him, he...

Things aren't right. If a burglar breaks into your home and you shoot him, he...