Theyre talking about banning cigarette smoking now in any place thats used by ten or more people in a week, which, I guess, means that Madonna cant even smoke in bed.

Quote by Bill Maher

Topics: Awesome Quotes, Funny Quotes

Kids. They're not easy. But there has to be some penalty for sex.

Kids. They're not easy. But there has to be some penalty for sex.

A lot of good has come from drugs. I think 'Penny Lane' is worth 10...

A lot of good has come from drugs. I think 'Penny Lane' is worth 10...

NEW RULE: 'Kidiots' Leave the children behind. At least until they learn something. A new...

NEW RULE: 'Kidiots' Leave the children behind. At least until they learn something. A new...

When we talk about values, I think of rationality in solving problems. Thats something I...

When we talk about values, I think of rationality in solving problems. Thats something I...

Let's make a law that gay people can have birthdays, but straight people get more...

Let's make a law that gay people can have birthdays, but straight people get more...

Let's face it; God has a big ego problem. Why do we always have to...

Let's face it; God has a big ego problem. Why do we always have to...

The Bible looks like it started out as a game of Mad Libs

The Bible looks like it started out as a game of Mad Libs

Maybe every other American movie shouldn't be based on a comic book. Other countries will...

Maybe every other American movie shouldn't be based on a comic book. Other countries will...

Today is 'Take our Daughters to Work Day.' This is when girls ages Nine to...

Today is 'Take our Daughters to Work Day.' This is when girls ages Nine to...

Things aren't right. If a burglar breaks into your home and you shoot him, he...

Things aren't right. If a burglar breaks into your home and you shoot him, he...

When we make mistakes they call it evil

When we make mistakes they call it evil

I would describe my spirituality as exactly the opposite of having a religious affiliation.

I would describe my spirituality as exactly the opposite of having a religious affiliation.

Nobody sees people as people. It's all how they relate to my little group.

Nobody sees people as people. It's all how they relate to my little group.

If you think you have it tough, read history books.

If you think you have it tough, read history books.

I have a high state of resentment for the conformity in this country. If you're...

I have a high state of resentment for the conformity in this country. If you're...

Stop worrying. Hollywood wont turn your daughter into a nymphomaniac or get her hooked on...

Stop worrying. Hollywood wont turn your daughter into a nymphomaniac or get her hooked on...

We need more people speaking out. This country is not overrun with rebels and free...

We need more people speaking out. This country is not overrun with rebels and free...

We have the Bill of Rights. What we need is a Bill of Responsibilities.

We have the Bill of Rights. What we need is a Bill of Responsibilities.

A crown, if it hurts us, is not worth wearing.

A crown, if it hurts us, is not worth wearing.

Authority founded on injustice is never of long duration.

Authority founded on injustice is never of long duration.

Those whom the gods love grow young.

Those whom the gods love grow young.