Theyre talking about banning cigarette smoking now in any place thats used by ten or more people in a week, which, I guess, means that Madonna cant even smoke in bed.

Quote by Bill Maher

Topics: Awesome Quotes, Funny Quotes

Jim Bakker spells his name with two k's because three would be too obvious.

Jim Bakker spells his name with two k's because three would be too obvious.

Religion, to me, is a bureaucracy between man and God that I don't need.

Religion, to me, is a bureaucracy between man and God that I don't need.

The Clinton White House today said they would start to give national security and intelligence...

The Clinton White House today said they would start to give national security and intelligence...

NEW RULE: 'Kidiots' Leave the children behind. At least until they learn something. A new...

NEW RULE: 'Kidiots' Leave the children behind. At least until they learn something. A new...

Curious people are intersting people, I wonder why that is.

Curious people are intersting people, I wonder why that is.

And to answer the question that people have about this conspiracy theory that he has...

And to answer the question that people have about this conspiracy theory that he has...

The tea baggers. The one thing they hate is when you call them racist. The...

The tea baggers. The one thing they hate is when you call them racist. The...

Suicide is man's way of telling God, You can't fire me - I quit

Suicide is man's way of telling God, You can't fire me - I quit

Bush gave an interview and he said people will vote for him because 'They've seen...

Bush gave an interview and he said people will vote for him because 'They've seen...

NEW RULE: 'Kidiots' Leave the children behind. At least until they learn something. A new...

NEW RULE: 'Kidiots' Leave the children behind. At least until they learn something. A new...

We have been the cowards lobbing cruise missiles from 2,000 miles away. That's cowardly. Staying...

We have been the cowards lobbing cruise missiles from 2,000 miles away. That's cowardly. Staying...

To me a real patriot is like a real friend. Who's your real friend? It's...

To me a real patriot is like a real friend. Who's your real friend? It's...

President Bush is supporting Arnold but a lot of Republicans are not, because he is...

President Bush is supporting Arnold but a lot of Republicans are not, because he is...

Everything that used to be a sin is now a disease.

Everything that used to be a sin is now a disease.

Whenever the people are for gay marriage or medical marijuana or assisted suicide, suddenly the...

Whenever the people are for gay marriage or medical marijuana or assisted suicide, suddenly the...

The jury could get the case as early as next week, but the defense says...

The jury could get the case as early as next week, but the defense says...

I never thought I'd say this, what Obama needs in his personality is a little...

I never thought I'd say this, what Obama needs in his personality is a little...

This is a ridiculous heat wave we're in right now, and to contribute, Newt Gingrich...

This is a ridiculous heat wave we're in right now, and to contribute, Newt Gingrich...

The Bible looks like it started out as a game of Mad Libs.

The Bible looks like it started out as a game of Mad Libs.

We are a nation that is unenlightened because of religion. I do believe that. I...

We are a nation that is unenlightened because of religion. I do believe that. I...