They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad that I'm going to miss mine by just a few days.

Quote by Garrison Keillor

Topics: Garrison Keillor Quotes

It was luxuries like air conditioning that brought down the Roman Empire. With air conditioning...

It was luxuries like air conditioning that brought down the Roman Empire. With air conditioning...

A minister has to be able to read a clock. At noon, it's time to...

A minister has to be able to read a clock. At noon, it's time to...

Vodka is tasteless going down, but it is memorable coming up.

Vodka is tasteless going down, but it is memorable coming up.

I think the most un-American thing you can say is, 'You can't say that.'

I think the most un-American thing you can say is, 'You can't say that.'

Beauty isn't worth thinking about; what's important is your mind. You don't want a fifty-dollar...

Beauty isn't worth thinking about; what's important is your mind. You don't want a fifty-dollar...

A book is a gift you can open again and again.

A book is a gift you can open again and again.

Welcome to Lake Wobegon, where all the women are strong, all the men are good-looking,...

Welcome to Lake Wobegon, where all the women are strong, all the men are good-looking,...

A book is a gift you can open again and again.

A book is a gift you can open again and again.

Where all the women are strong, all the men are good-looking and all the children...

Where all the women are strong, all the men are good-looking and all the children...

It's a shallow life that doesn't give a person a few scars.

It's a shallow life that doesn't give a person a few scars.

God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad...

God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad...

God writes a lot of comedy-the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad actors...

God writes a lot of comedy-the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad actors...

Some luck lies in not getting what you thought you wanted but getting what you...

Some luck lies in not getting what you thought you wanted but getting what you...

They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad...

They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad...

It was luxuries like air conditioning that brought down the Roman Empire. With air conditioning...

It was luxuries like air conditioning that brought down the Roman Empire. With air conditioning...

The highlight of my childhood was making my brother laugh so hard that food came...

The highlight of my childhood was making my brother laugh so hard that food came...

God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad...

God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad...

It (The New York Times) reads like it was edited by two elderly sociologists, one...

It (The New York Times) reads like it was edited by two elderly sociologists, one...

Of middle age the best that can be said is that a middle-aged person has...

Of middle age the best that can be said is that a middle-aged person has...

The land of fairy, where nobody gets old and godly and grave, where nobody gets...

The land of fairy, where nobody gets old and godly and grave, where nobody gets...