Vodka is tasteless going down, but it is memorable coming up.

Quote by Garrison Keillor

Topics: Garrison Keillor Quotes

Selective ignorance, a cornerstone of child rearing. You don't put kids under surveillance: it might...

Selective ignorance, a cornerstone of child rearing. You don't put kids under surveillance: it might...

Some luck lies in not getting what you thought you wanted but getting what you...

Some luck lies in not getting what you thought you wanted but getting what you...

A book is a gift you can open again and again.

A book is a gift you can open again and again.

I believe in looking reality straight in the eye and denying it.

I believe in looking reality straight in the eye and denying it.

It was luxuries like air conditioning that brought down the Roman Empire. With air conditioning...

It was luxuries like air conditioning that brought down the Roman Empire. With air conditioning...

God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad...

God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad...

Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a purpose.

Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a purpose.

Some luck lies in not getting what you thought you wanted but getting what you...

Some luck lies in not getting what you thought you wanted but getting what you...

Welcome to Lake Wobegon, where all the women are strong, all the men are good-looking,...

Welcome to Lake Wobegon, where all the women are strong, all the men are good-looking,...

A minister has to be able to read a clock. At noon, it's time to...

A minister has to be able to read a clock. At noon, it's time to...

The funniest line in English is Get it? When you say that, everyone chortles.

The funniest line in English is Get it? When you say that, everyone chortles.

Beauty isn't worth thinking about; what's important is your mind. You don't want a fifty-dollar...

Beauty isn't worth thinking about; what's important is your mind. You don't want a fifty-dollar...

I think the most un-American thing you can say is, 'You can't say that.'

I think the most un-American thing you can say is, 'You can't say that.'

They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad...

They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad...

It's a shallow life that doesn't give a person a few scars.

It's a shallow life that doesn't give a person a few scars.

The highlight of my childhood was making my brother laugh so hard that food came...

The highlight of my childhood was making my brother laugh so hard that food came...

Lake Wobegon, the little town that time forgot and the decades cannot improve.

Lake Wobegon, the little town that time forgot and the decades cannot improve.

They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad...

They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad...

Sometimes you have to look reality in the eye, and deny it.

Sometimes you have to look reality in the eye, and deny it.

A girl in a bikini is like having a loaded pistol on your coffee table...

A girl in a bikini is like having a loaded pistol on your coffee table...