The funniest line in English is Get it? When you say that, everyone chortles.

Quote by Garrison Keillor

Topics: Garrison Keillor Quotes

That's the news from Lake Wobegon, where all the women are strong, all the men...

That's the news from Lake Wobegon, where all the women are strong, all the men...

Some luck lies in not getting what you thought you wanted but getting what you...

Some luck lies in not getting what you thought you wanted but getting what you...

It was luxuries like air conditioning that brought down the Roman Empire. With air conditioning...

It was luxuries like air conditioning that brought down the Roman Empire. With air conditioning...

A minister has to be able to read a clock. At noon, it's time to...

A minister has to be able to read a clock. At noon, it's time to...

It's a shallow life that doesn't give a person a few scars.

It's a shallow life that doesn't give a person a few scars.

They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad...

They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad...

Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a purpose.

Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a purpose.

The highlight of my childhood was making my brother laugh so hard that food came...

The highlight of my childhood was making my brother laugh so hard that food came...

They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad...

They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad...

Beauty isn't worth thinking about; what's important is your mind. You don't want a fifty-dollar...

Beauty isn't worth thinking about; what's important is your mind. You don't want a fifty-dollar...

Vodka is tasteless going down, but it is memorable coming up.

Vodka is tasteless going down, but it is memorable coming up.

Welcome to Lake Wobegon, where all the women are strong, all the men are good-looking,...

Welcome to Lake Wobegon, where all the women are strong, all the men are good-looking,...

Sometimes you have to look reality in the eye, and deny it.

Sometimes you have to look reality in the eye, and deny it.

A girl in a bikini is like having a loaded pistol on your coffee table...theres...

A girl in a bikini is like having a loaded pistol on your coffee table...theres...

Lake Wobegon, the little town that time forgot and the decades cannot improve.

Lake Wobegon, the little town that time forgot and the decades cannot improve.

Humor, a good sense of it, is to Americans what manhood is to Spaniards and...

Humor, a good sense of it, is to Americans what manhood is to Spaniards and...

A book is a gift you can open again and again.

A book is a gift you can open again and again.

They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad...

They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad...

The reason so many people turned up at his funeral is that they wanted to...

The reason so many people turned up at his funeral is that they wanted to...

How could you go about choosing something that would hold the half of your heart...

How could you go about choosing something that would hold the half of your heart...