A girl in a bikini is like having a loaded pistol on your coffee table - There's nothing wrong with them, but it's hard to stop thinking about it.

Quote by Garrison Keillor

Topics: Garrison Keillor Quotes

Selective ignorance, a cornerstone of child rearing. You don't put kids under surveillance: it might...

Selective ignorance, a cornerstone of child rearing. You don't put kids under surveillance: it might...

Beauty isn't worth thinking about; what's important is your mind. You don't want a fifty-dollar...

Beauty isn't worth thinking about; what's important is your mind. You don't want a fifty-dollar...

The funniest line in English is Get it? When you say that, everyone chortles.

The funniest line in English is Get it? When you say that, everyone chortles.

Beauty isn't worth thinking about; what's important is your mind. You don't want a fifty-dollar...

Beauty isn't worth thinking about; what's important is your mind. You don't want a fifty-dollar...

It was luxuries like air conditioning that brought down the Roman Empire. With air conditioning...

It was luxuries like air conditioning that brought down the Roman Empire. With air conditioning...

Even in a time of elephantine vanity and greed, one never has to look far...

Even in a time of elephantine vanity and greed, one never has to look far...

That's the news from Lake Wobegon, where all the women are strong, all the men...

That's the news from Lake Wobegon, where all the women are strong, all the men...

I think the most un-American thing you can say is, 'You can't say that.'

I think the most un-American thing you can say is, 'You can't say that.'

I'm not busy... a woman with three children under the age of 10 wouldn't think...

I'm not busy... a woman with three children under the age of 10 wouldn't think...

Some luck lies in not getting what you thought you wanted but getting what you...

Some luck lies in not getting what you thought you wanted but getting what you...

Lake Wobegon, the little town that time forgot and the decades cannot improve.

Lake Wobegon, the little town that time forgot and the decades cannot improve.

God writes a lot of comedy-the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad actors...

God writes a lot of comedy-the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad actors...

Humor, a good sense of it, is to Americans what manhood is to Spaniards and...

Humor, a good sense of it, is to Americans what manhood is to Spaniards and...

God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad...

God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad...

Welcome to Lake Wobegon, where all the women are strong, all the men are good-looking,...

Welcome to Lake Wobegon, where all the women are strong, all the men are good-looking,...

Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a function

Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a function

A girl in a bikini is like having a loaded pistol on your coffee table...theres...

A girl in a bikini is like having a loaded pistol on your coffee table...theres...

Certain is it that there is no kind of affection so purely angelic as of...

Certain is it that there is no kind of affection so purely angelic as of...

Any astronomer can predict with absolute accuracy just where every star in the universe will...

Any astronomer can predict with absolute accuracy just where every star in the universe will...

I cannot think of any need in childhood as strong as the need for a...

I cannot think of any need in childhood as strong as the need for a...