People say New Yorkers can't get along. Not true. I saw two New Yorkers, complete strangers, sharing a cab. One guy took the tires and the radio; the other guy took the engine.

Quote by David Letterman

Topics: David Letterman Quotes

Here's a little known fact - Arnold is the first body builder to run for...

Here's a little known fact - Arnold is the first body builder to run for...

New York now leads the world's great cities in the number of people around whom...

New York now leads the world's great cities in the number of people around whom...

I cannot sing, dance or act; what else would I be but a talk show...

I cannot sing, dance or act; what else would I be but a talk show...

Number one: Don't frisk me. Don't hurt me physically. Don't get anywhere near my neck....

Number one: Don't frisk me. Don't hurt me physically. Don't get anywhere near my neck....

Congratulations are in order for Woody Allen - he and Soon Yi have a brand...

Congratulations are in order for Woody Allen - he and Soon Yi have a brand...

No one knows if Saddam is still alive. They keep showing old footage of him...

No one knows if Saddam is still alive. They keep showing old footage of him...

I'm just trying to make a smudge on the collective unconscious.

I'm just trying to make a smudge on the collective unconscious.

President Bush says he needs a month off to unwind. Unwind? When the hell does...

President Bush says he needs a month off to unwind. Unwind? When the hell does...

I had no idea this thing was televised. Boy, is my face red.

I had no idea this thing was televised. Boy, is my face red.

Iraq's elite Republican Guard is doing so badly they're changing their name to the Democratic...

Iraq's elite Republican Guard is doing so badly they're changing their name to the Democratic...

The White House is giving George W. Bush intelligence briefings. You know, some of these...

The White House is giving George W. Bush intelligence briefings. You know, some of these...

USA Today has come out with a new survey - apparently, three out of every...

USA Today has come out with a new survey - apparently, three out of every...

The worst tempered people I have ever met were those who knew that they were...

The worst tempered people I have ever met were those who knew that they were...

Don't forget it's daylight savings time. You spring forward, then you fall back. It's like...

Don't forget it's daylight savings time. You spring forward, then you fall back. It's like...

There's no business like show business, but there are several businesses like accounting.

There's no business like show business, but there are several businesses like accounting.

The weather here is gorgeous. It's mild and feels like it's in the eighties. The...

The weather here is gorgeous. It's mild and feels like it's in the eighties. The...

New York now leads the world's great cities in the number of people around whom...

New York now leads the world's great cities in the number of people around whom...

We make a lot of fun at President Clinton's expense. But this transition is going...

We make a lot of fun at President Clinton's expense. But this transition is going...

A lot of folks are still demanding more evidence before they actually consider Iraq a...

A lot of folks are still demanding more evidence before they actually consider Iraq a...