People say New Yorkers can't get along. Not true. I saw two New Yorkers, complete strangers, sharing a cab. One guy took the tires and the radio; the other guy took the engine.

Quote by David Letterman

Topics: David Letterman Quotes

Wherever we've travelled in this great land of ours, we've found that people everywhere are...

Wherever we've travelled in this great land of ours, we've found that people everywhere are...

There's no business like show business, but there are several businesses like accounting.

There's no business like show business, but there are several businesses like accounting.

President Bush has been silent on Schwarzenegger. Of course, he can't pronounce Schwarzenegger.

President Bush has been silent on Schwarzenegger. Of course, he can't pronounce Schwarzenegger.

I cannot sing, dance or act; what else would I be but a talk show...

I cannot sing, dance or act; what else would I be but a talk show...

Traffic signals in New York are just rough guidelines.

Traffic signals in New York are just rough guidelines.

There is no off position on the genius switch.

There is no off position on the genius switch.

For the love of God, folks, don't try this at home.

For the love of God, folks, don't try this at home.

Last night the United States dropped four 2,000 pound bombs on Saddam Hussein. I don't...

Last night the United States dropped four 2,000 pound bombs on Saddam Hussein. I don't...

New York now leads the world's great cities in the number of people around whom...

New York now leads the world's great cities in the number of people around whom...

We make a lot of fun at President Clinton's expense. But this transition is going...

We make a lot of fun at President Clinton's expense. But this transition is going...

The White House is giving George W. Bush intelligence briefings. You know, some of these...

The White House is giving George W. Bush intelligence briefings. You know, some of these...

The big debate right now is if Saddam is alive or dead. He's dead, then...

The big debate right now is if Saddam is alive or dead. He's dead, then...

Don't forget it's daylight savings time. You spring forward, then you fall back. It's like...

Don't forget it's daylight savings time. You spring forward, then you fall back. It's like...

Dick Cheney said he was running again. He said his health was fine, 'I've got...

Dick Cheney said he was running again. He said his health was fine, 'I've got...

It's so warm now, and Thanksgiving came so early - is it just me, or...

It's so warm now, and Thanksgiving came so early - is it just me, or...

Sometimes something worth doing is worth overdoing.

Sometimes something worth doing is worth overdoing.

Congratulations are in order for Woody Allen - he and Soon Yi have a brand...

People Express is clearly the archetypical deregulation success story and the most spectacular of my...

People Express is clearly the archetypical deregulation success story and the most spectacular of my...

A baby is God's opinion that life should go on.

A baby is God's opinion that life should go on.

Now the thing about having a baby - and I can't be the first person...

Now the thing about having a baby - and I can't be the first person...