The trouble with unemployment is that the minute you wake up in the morning you're on the job.

Quote by Slappy White

Topics: Funny Quotes, Work Quotes

My wife was fitted with a coil. For about 18 months I hated it! She...

My wife was fitted with a coil. For about 18 months I hated it! She...

If the gods had intended for people to vote, they would have given us candidates

If the gods had intended for people to vote, they would have given us candidates

It is the spirit of the age to believe that any fact, no matter how...

It is the spirit of the age to believe that any fact, no matter how...

You should make a point of trying every experience once, excepting incest and folk-dancing.

You should make a point of trying every experience once, excepting incest and folk-dancing.

I remember being handed a score composed by Mozart at the age of eleven. What...

I remember being handed a score composed by Mozart at the age of eleven. What...

Learn to live in this world with self-respect. You should always cherish some ambition of...

Learn to live in this world with self-respect. You should always cherish some ambition of...

The only 'ism' Hollywood believes in is plagiarism.

The only 'ism' Hollywood believes in is plagiarism.

My tremendous intuitive sense of the female creature informs me that you are troubled.

My tremendous intuitive sense of the female creature informs me that you are troubled.

It is a sad fact that 50 percent of marriages in this country end in...

It is a sad fact that 50 percent of marriages in this country end in...

Baseball is like church. Many attend, few understand.

Baseball is like church. Many attend, few understand.

Never join with your friend when he abuses his horse or his wife, unless the...

Never join with your friend when he abuses his horse or his wife, unless the...

He had ambitions, at one time, to become a sex maniac, but he failed his...

He had ambitions, at one time, to become a sex maniac, but he failed his...

Love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to...

Love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to...

A politician is a fellow who will lay down your life for his country.

A politician is a fellow who will lay down your life for his country.

We are not limited by our old age; we are liberated by it.

We are not limited by our old age; we are liberated by it.

Middle age is when your broad mind and narrow waist begin to change places.

Middle age is when your broad mind and narrow waist begin to change places.

At the gym Boy doing sit-ups: '1...2...3...' Hot girl walks by Boy: '97...98...99...'

At the gym Boy doing sit-ups: '1...2...3...' Hot girl walks by Boy: '97...98...99...'

For in all the world there are no people so piteous and forlorn as those...

For in all the world there are no people so piteous and forlorn as those...

I've met a few people in my time who were enthusiastic about hard work. And...

I've met a few people in my time who were enthusiastic about hard work. And...

Laziness is a secret ingredient that goes into failure. But it's only kept a secret...

Laziness is a secret ingredient that goes into failure. But it's only kept a secret...