Math teacher: I have 5 bottles in one hand, and 6 in the other. What do I have? Student: A drinking problem.

Topics: Funny Quotes, Mathematics Quotes, School Quotes, Student Quotes, Teacher Quotes

I have lived long enough. My way of life is to fall into the sere,...

I have lived long enough. My way of life is to fall into the sere,...

I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life....

I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life....

Valentine's day has gotten blown way out of proportion. Valentine's Day just used to be...

Valentine's day has gotten blown way out of proportion. Valentine's Day just used to be...

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but whips and chains excite me!

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but whips and chains excite me!

Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It is already tomorrow in...

Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It is already tomorrow in...

It is old age, rather than death, that is to be contrasted with life. Old...

It is old age, rather than death, that is to be contrasted with life. Old...

Don't forget Mother's Day. Or as they call it in Beverly Hills, Dad's Third Wife...

Don't forget Mother's Day. Or as they call it in Beverly Hills, Dad's Third Wife...

Being in the army is like being in the Boy Scouts, except that the Boy...

Being in the army is like being in the Boy Scouts, except that the Boy...

Everyone says that looks don't matter, age doesn't matter, money doesn't matter. But i never...

Everyone says that looks don't matter, age doesn't matter, money doesn't matter. But i never...

I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.

I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.

I hate Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays and half of Friday.

I hate Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays and half of Friday.

A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable but more useful than a...

A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable but more useful than a...

In old age, one should do something monumental.

In old age, one should do something monumental.

The optimist thinks this is the best of all possible worlds. The pessimist fears it...

The optimist thinks this is the best of all possible worlds. The pessimist fears it...

A woman's mind is cleaner than a man's. She changes it more often.

A woman's mind is cleaner than a man's. She changes it more often.

My act is very educational. I heard a man leaving the other night saying, 'Well...

My act is very educational. I heard a man leaving the other night saying, 'Well...

If you want a friend in Washington, get a dog.

If you want a friend in Washington, get a dog.

The worst realities of our age are manufactured realities. It is therefore our task, as...

The worst realities of our age are manufactured realities. It is therefore our task, as...

One reason why mathematics enjoys special esteem, above all other sciences, is that its laws...

One reason why mathematics enjoys special esteem, above all other sciences, is that its laws...

Mathematics are well and good but nature keeps dragging us around by the nose.

Mathematics are well and good but nature keeps dragging us around by the nose.

Teacher: Your paper should be 5-8 pages Long. Me: 5 Pages it is.

Teacher: Your paper should be 5-8 pages Long. Me: 5 Pages it is.

When you have to study, even the ceiling looks more interesting.

When you have to study, even the ceiling looks more interesting.

A self-taught man usually has a poor teacher and a worse student.

A self-taught man usually has a poor teacher and a worse student.