We journalists make it a point to know very little about an extremely wide variety of topics; this is how we stay objective.

Quote by Dave Barry

Topics: Dave Barry Quotes

Sharks are as tough as those football fans who take their shirts off during games...

Sharks are as tough as those football fans who take their shirts off during games...

Scientists now believe that the primary biological function of breasts is to make males stupid.

Scientists now believe that the primary biological function of breasts is to make males stupid.

In 1765, Parliament passed the Stamp Act, which, as any American high school student can...

In 1765, Parliament passed the Stamp Act, which, as any American high school student can...

The Internet: transforming society and shaping the future through chat.

The Internet: transforming society and shaping the future through chat.

You can only be young once. But you can always be immature.

You can only be young once. But you can always be immature.

The difference between men and women is that, if given the choice between saving the...

The difference between men and women is that, if given the choice between saving the...

Violence and smut are of course everywhere on the airwaves. You cannot turn on your...

Violence and smut are of course everywhere on the airwaves. You cannot turn on your...

Guys are simple... women are not simple and they always assume that men must be...

Guys are simple... women are not simple and they always assume that men must be...

The most powerful force in the universe is gossip.

The most powerful force in the universe is gossip.

Bill Gates is a very rich man today... and do you want to know why?...

Bill Gates is a very rich man today... and do you want to know why?...

We operate under a jury system in this country, and as much as we complain...

We operate under a jury system in this country, and as much as we complain...

American consumers have no problem with carcinogens, but they will not purchase any product, including...

American consumers have no problem with carcinogens, but they will not purchase any product, including...

The world is full of strange phenomena that cannot be explained by the laws of...

The world is full of strange phenomena that cannot be explained by the laws of...

Hobbies of any kind are boring except to people who have the same hobby. This...

Hobbies of any kind are boring except to people who have the same hobby. This...

For me, the worst part of playing golf, by far, has always been hitting the...

For me, the worst part of playing golf, by far, has always been hitting the...

To an adolescent, there is nothing in the world more embarrassing than a parent.

To an adolescent, there is nothing in the world more embarrassing than a parent.

The real threat to whales is whaling, which has endangered many whale species.

The real threat to whales is whaling, which has endangered many whale species.

Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who...

Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who...

I had my electricity turned off three times because I never had time to pay...

I had my electricity turned off three times because I never had time to pay...

Benjamin Franklin may have discovered electricity, but it was the man who invented the meter...

Benjamin Franklin may have discovered electricity, but it was the man who invented the meter...