The problem with winter sports is that - follow me closely here - they generally take place in winter.

Quote by Dave Barry

Topics: Dave Barry Quotes

It is a well-documented fact that guys will not ask for directions. This is a...

It is a well-documented fact that guys will not ask for directions. This is a...

Eating rice cakes is like chewing on a foam coffee cup, only less filling.

Eating rice cakes is like chewing on a foam coffee cup, only less filling.

Violence and smut are of course everywhere on the airwaves. You cannot turn on your...

Violence and smut are of course everywhere on the airwaves. You cannot turn on your...

I want a pit crew... I hate the procedure I currently have to go through...

I want a pit crew... I hate the procedure I currently have to go through...

Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who...

Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who...

Have you noticed that whatever sport you're trying to learn, some earnest person is always...

Have you noticed that whatever sport you're trying to learn, some earnest person is always...

We operate under a jury system in this country, and as much as we complain...

We operate under a jury system in this country, and as much as we complain...

I believe that we parents must encourage our children to become educated, so they can...

I believe that we parents must encourage our children to become educated, so they can...

Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant...

Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant...

Mother Nature clearly intended for us to get our food from the patty group, which...

Mother Nature clearly intended for us to get our food from the patty group, which...

Most married couples, even though they love each other very much in theory, tend to...

Most married couples, even though they love each other very much in theory, tend to...

The four building blocks of the universe are fire, water, gravel and vinyl.

The four building blocks of the universe are fire, water, gravel and vinyl.

Big business never pays a nickel in taxes, according to Ralph Nader, who represents a...

Big business never pays a nickel in taxes, according to Ralph Nader, who represents a...

I am not the only person who uses his computer mainly for the purpose of...

I am not the only person who uses his computer mainly for the purpose of...

Fishing is boring, unless you catch an actual fish, and then it is disgusting.

Fishing is boring, unless you catch an actual fish, and then it is disgusting.

The difference between men and women is that, if given the choice between saving the...

The difference between men and women is that, if given the choice between saving the...

The leading cause of death among fashion models is falling through street grates.

The leading cause of death among fashion models is falling through street grates.

I argue very well. Ask any of my remaining friends. I can win an argument...

I argue very well. Ask any of my remaining friends. I can win an argument...

If you put a baseball and other toys in front of a baby, he'll pick...

If you put a baseball and other toys in front of a baby, he'll pick...

We had our own baby boom.

We had our own baby boom.