It's ironic that in our culture everyone's biggest complaint is about not having enough time; yet nothing terrifies us more than the thought of eternity.

Quote by Dennis Miller

Topics: Dennis Miller Quotes

The average Americans day planner has fewer holes in it than Ray Charless dart board.

The average Americans day planner has fewer holes in it than Ray Charless dart board.

Here in Hollywood you can actually get a marriage license printed on an Etch-A-Sketch.

Here in Hollywood you can actually get a marriage license printed on an Etch-A-Sketch.

I lapsed into rude.

I lapsed into rude.

Parenting is the most important job on the planet next to keeping Gary Busey off...

Parenting is the most important job on the planet next to keeping Gary Busey off...

The radical right is so homophobic that they're blaming global warming on the AIDS quilt.

The radical right is so homophobic that they're blaming global warming on the AIDS quilt.

A good rule of thumb is if you've made it to thirty-five and your job...

A good rule of thumb is if you've made it to thirty-five and your job...

I'm like Bush, I see the world more like checkers than chess.

I'm like Bush, I see the world more like checkers than chess.

Washington, DC is to lying what Wisconsin is to cheese.

Washington, DC is to lying what Wisconsin is to cheese.

You know there is a problem with the education system when you realize that out...

You know there is a problem with the education system when you realize that out...

One man's Voltaire is another man's Screech.

One man's Voltaire is another man's Screech.

President Bush gave his first-ever presidential radio address in both English and Spanish. Reaction was...

President Bush gave his first-ever presidential radio address in both English and Spanish. Reaction was...

The only way the French are going in is if we tell them we found...

The only way the French are going in is if we tell them we found...

Never ever discount the idea of marriage. Sure, someone might tell you that marriage is...

Never ever discount the idea of marriage. Sure, someone might tell you that marriage is...

A new poll shows that Senator Kerry's support in the South is strongest amongst blacks....

A new poll shows that Senator Kerry's support in the South is strongest amongst blacks....

A recent conversation: Dubya: Look at the clock, time is racing! Cheney: That's the second...

A recent conversation: Dubya: Look at the clock, time is racing! Cheney: That's the second...

You've got bad eating habits if you use a grocery cart in 7-Eleven.

You've got bad eating habits if you use a grocery cart in 7-Eleven.

Santa is very jolly because he knows where all the bad girls live.

Santa is very jolly because he knows where all the bad girls live.

Christmas is a time when people of all religions come together to worship Jesus Christ

Christmas is a time when people of all religions come together to worship Jesus Christ

There's a little vanity chair that Charlie gave me the first Christmas we knew each...

There's a little vanity chair that Charlie gave me the first Christmas we knew each...

May the Christmas season fill your home with joy, your heart with love and your...

May the Christmas season fill your home with joy, your heart with love and your...

Your body is the baggage you must carry through life. The more excess the baggage,...

Your body is the baggage you must carry through life. The more excess the baggage,...