So I rang up British Telecom, I said 'I want to report a nuisance caller', he said 'Not you again'.

Quote by Frank Carson

Topics: Funny Quotes, Jokes Quotes

I don't think my wife likes me very much, when I had a heart attack...

I don't think my wife likes me very much, when I had a heart attack...

I am accusing him of stealing my best material, he was a very funny man.

I am accusing him of stealing my best material, he was a very funny man.

Have you heard about the Irishman who reversed into a car boot sale and sold...

Have you heard about the Irishman who reversed into a car boot sale and sold...

I don't have a bank account because I don't know my mother's maiden name.

I don't have a bank account because I don't know my mother's maiden name.

Love is a state in which a man sees things most decidedly as they are...

Love is a state in which a man sees things most decidedly as they are...

[Reporter: How did you find America?] We turned left at Greenland.

[Reporter: How did you find America?] We turned left at Greenland.

I dont like to be labeled as lonely just because I am alone.

I dont like to be labeled as lonely just because I am alone.

I hear Glenn Hoddle has found God. That must have been one hell of a...

I hear Glenn Hoddle has found God. That must have been one hell of a...

I have never made but one prayer to God, a very short one: 'O Lord,...

I have never made but one prayer to God, a very short one: 'O Lord,...

Gravitation can not be held responsible for people falling in love.

Gravitation can not be held responsible for people falling in love.

Asking a working writer what he thinks about critics is like asking a lamppost how...

Asking a working writer what he thinks about critics is like asking a lamppost how...

Raising kids is part joy and part guerilla warfare.

Raising kids is part joy and part guerilla warfare.

Half the people in Hollywood are dying to be discovered and the other half are...

Half the people in Hollywood are dying to be discovered and the other half are...

There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full.

There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full.

A man is already halfway in love with any woman who listens to him

A man is already halfway in love with any woman who listens to him

Age merely shows what children we remain.

Age merely shows what children we remain.

It is not the end of joy that makes old age so sad, but the...

It is not the end of joy that makes old age so sad, but the...

If you were to open up a baby's head -- and I am not for...

If you were to open up a baby's head -- and I am not for...

The early bird gets the worm. The early worm...gets eaten.

The early bird gets the worm. The early worm...gets eaten.

Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.

Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.

I know we're not saints or virgins or lunatics; we know all the lust and...

I know we're not saints or virgins or lunatics; we know all the lust and...