I've been doing the Fonda workout: the Peter Fonda workout. That's where I wake up, take a hit of acid, smoke a joint, and run to my sister's house and ask her for money.

Quote by Kevin Meaney

Topics: Funny Quotes, Putdowns Quotes

I'd rather have a bottle in front of me, than a frontal lobotomy.

I'd rather have a bottle in front of me, than a frontal lobotomy.

One's age should be tranquil, as childhood should be playful. Hard work at either extremity...

One's age should be tranquil, as childhood should be playful. Hard work at either extremity...

I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.

I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.

What makes old age hard to bear is not the failing of one's faculties, mental...

What makes old age hard to bear is not the failing of one's faculties, mental...

At the age of six I wanted to be a cook. At seven I wanted...

At the age of six I wanted to be a cook. At seven I wanted...

In every country and in every age the priest has been hostile to liberty; he...

In every country and in every age the priest has been hostile to liberty; he...

Afterism (n) - A concise, clever statement you don't think of until too late.

Afterism (n) - A concise, clever statement you don't think of until too late.

Old age has the last word: the purely naturalistic look at life, however enthusiastically it...

Old age has the last word: the purely naturalistic look at life, however enthusiastically it...

All animals are equal but some animals are more equal than others.

All animals are equal but some animals are more equal than others.

There are now more TV's in British households than there are people - which is...

There are now more TV's in British households than there are people - which is...

Kelsey Grammer has launched his own website to refute stories about him in the tabloids.

Kelsey Grammer has launched his own website to refute stories about him in the tabloids.

Patience makes a women beautiful in middle age.

Patience makes a women beautiful in middle age.

You know you''re getting old, when Santa starts looking younger.

You know you''re getting old, when Santa starts looking younger.

Some folks are wise and some otherwise.

Some folks are wise and some otherwise.

Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes. There's too much fraternizing with the...

Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes. There's too much fraternizing with the...

Sex is like snow, you never know how many inches you're going to get or...

Sex is like snow, you never know how many inches you're going to get or...

You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note...

You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note...

When I was born I was so surprised I didn't talk for a year and...

When I was born I was so surprised I didn't talk for a year and...

Robert Redford used to be such a handsome man and now look at him: everything...

Robert Redford used to be such a handsome man and now look at him: everything...

I'm as pure as the driven slush.

I'm as pure as the driven slush.