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You know you slept hard when you wake up with one sock on.

You know you slept hard when you wake up with one sock on.

Leaving your blinker on while driving is the road form of leaving your fly unzipped.

Leaving your blinker on while driving is the road form of leaving your fly unzipped.

Some girls seriously need to learn how to control their whore-mones.

Some girls seriously need to learn how to control their whore-mones.

There's a 50% chance you won't like me... There's a 100% chance I won't change...

There's a 50% chance you won't like me... There's a 100% chance I won't change...

I broke bread with you nigga showed you where I live, you talkin nigga but...

I broke bread with you nigga showed you where I live, you talkin nigga but...

Carry yourself like a Queen and you'll get your King. Carry yourself as a hoe...

Carry yourself like a Queen and you'll get your King. Carry yourself as a hoe...

'Love thy neighbor.' aka don't put a password on your damn WiFi.

'Love thy neighbor.' aka don't put a password on your damn WiFi.

Some people are like bathrooms, they're either taken, or full of sh*t.

Some people are like bathrooms, they're either taken, or full of sh*t.

You can plan a pretty picnic but you cant predict the weather.

You can plan a pretty picnic but you cant predict the weather.

Dear tampon commercial, When I'm on my period, I don't wear a WHITE bikini or...

Dear tampon commercial, When I'm on my period, I don't wear a WHITE bikini or...

I follow my friends around their house, because i don't want to be left alone...

I follow my friends around their house, because i don't want to be left alone...

My car only heats up enough about 30 seconds before I reach my destination.

My car only heats up enough about 30 seconds before I reach my destination.

Sorry is like a band-aid. Just because you use it, doesn't mean it's going to...

Sorry is like a band-aid. Just because you use it, doesn't mean it's going to...

No matter what I'll keep it real you know. Time for me to do it...

No matter what I'll keep it real you know. Time for me to do it...

Just because he says sweet things to you doesn't mean you should let your guard...

Just because he says sweet things to you doesn't mean you should let your guard...

Brushing your teeth six times before you go to the dentist so they think you...

Brushing your teeth six times before you go to the dentist so they think you...

Don't waste electricity. How would you like it if I turned you on and walked...

Don't waste electricity. How would you like it if I turned you on and walked...

Sometimes I wonder; how many other girls he is texting while he's texting me...

Sometimes I wonder; how many other girls he is texting while he's texting me...

Nothing ever goes exactly as planned. Thats why its a plan...not a certainty.

Nothing ever goes exactly as planned. Thats why its a plan...not a certainty.

That awkward moment when you're checking yourself out in the window of another car and...

That awkward moment when you're checking yourself out in the window of another car and...