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No one is as ugly as their driver's license picture and nobody is as attractive...

No one is as ugly as their driver's license picture and nobody is as attractive...

I follow my friends around their house, because i don't want to be left alone...

I follow my friends around their house, because i don't want to be left alone...

Carry yourself like a Queen and you'll get your King. Carry yourself as a hoe...

Carry yourself like a Queen and you'll get your King. Carry yourself as a hoe...

Sometimes I wonder; how many other girls he is texting while he's texting me...

Sometimes I wonder; how many other girls he is texting while he's texting me...

Welcome to our society. You will be judged on what you wear, your taste in...

Welcome to our society. You will be judged on what you wear, your taste in...

When it came to yo pussy ass nigga I woulda killed, but it was my...

When it came to yo pussy ass nigga I woulda killed, but it was my...

'Love thy neighbor.' aka don't put a password on your damn WiFi.

'Love thy neighbor.' aka don't put a password on your damn WiFi.

I broke bread with you nigga showed you where I live, you talkin nigga but...

I broke bread with you nigga showed you where I live, you talkin nigga but...

I hate when I can't remember if I am drying off my face with the...

I hate when I can't remember if I am drying off my face with the...

There should be a rule that you can't get your period over the summer.

There should be a rule that you can't get your period over the summer.

Dear tampon commercial, When I'm on my period, I don't wear a WHITE bikini or...

Dear tampon commercial, When I'm on my period, I don't wear a WHITE bikini or...

I never thought I'd say it but muthafuk a friend, cuz yo dawg be the...

I never thought I'd say it but muthafuk a friend, cuz yo dawg be the...

Faking the dates on your work so it doesn't look like you did it last...

Faking the dates on your work so it doesn't look like you did it last...

My car only heats up enough about 30 seconds before I reach my destination.

My car only heats up enough about 30 seconds before I reach my destination.

I have learned that pleasing everyone is too hard, but pissing everyone off is a...

I have learned that pleasing everyone is too hard, but pissing everyone off is a...

If your relationship has more issues than your magazine, you need to cancel your subscription.

If your relationship has more issues than your magazine, you need to cancel your subscription.

I kept it real all my life, I never stepped on toes.

I kept it real all my life, I never stepped on toes.

Brushing your teeth six times before you go to the dentist so they think you...

Brushing your teeth six times before you go to the dentist so they think you...

That awkward moment when you sing the wrong part of a song with confidence.

That awkward moment when you sing the wrong part of a song with confidence.

That awkward moment when you cant find your phone because your bed ate it.

That awkward moment when you cant find your phone because your bed ate it.