One way to compensate for a tiny brain is to pretend to be dead.

Quote by Scott Adams

Topics: Scott Adams Quotes

Technology: No Place for Wimps!

Technology: No Place for Wimps!

I respectfully decline the invitation to join your hallucination.

I respectfully decline the invitation to join your hallucination.

Consultants have credibility because they are not dumb enough to work at your company

Consultants have credibility because they are not dumb enough to work at your company

Free will is an illusion. People always choose the perceived path of greatest pleasure.

Free will is an illusion. People always choose the perceived path of greatest pleasure.

Remind people that profit is the difference between revenue and expense. This makes you look...

Remind people that profit is the difference between revenue and expense. This makes you look...

Be careful that what you write does not offend anybody or cause problems within the...

Be careful that what you write does not offend anybody or cause problems within the...

And bring me a hard copy of the Internet so I can do some serious...

And bring me a hard copy of the Internet so I can do some serious...

The only risk of failure is promotion.

The only risk of failure is promotion.

The creator of the universe works in mysterious ways. But he uses a base ten...

The creator of the universe works in mysterious ways. But he uses a base ten...

All vendor demos are boring. It's the law, I think.

All vendor demos are boring. It's the law, I think.

Engineers like to solve problems. If there are no problems handily available, they will create...

Engineers like to solve problems. If there are no problems handily available, they will create...

The only risk of failure is promotion.

The only risk of failure is promotion.

Nothing inspires forgiveness quite like revenge.

Nothing inspires forgiveness quite like revenge.

Most success springs from an obstacle or failure. I became a cartoonist largely because I...

Most success springs from an obstacle or failure. I became a cartoonist largely because I...

I get mail; therefore I am.

I get mail; therefore I am.

A good metaphor can make any bad idea sound good.

A good metaphor can make any bad idea sound good.

The creator of the universe works in mysterious ways. But he uses a base ten...

The creator of the universe works in mysterious ways. But he uses a base ten...

Be miserable. Or motivate yourself. Whatever has to be done, it's always your choice.

Be miserable. Or motivate yourself. Whatever has to be done, it's always your choice.

I never know what I think about something until I read what I've written on...

I never know what I think about something until I read what I've written on...

A lady came up to me on the street and pointed at my suede jacket....

A lady came up to me on the street and pointed at my suede jacket....

Everything is perfect in the universe - even your desire to improve it.

Everything is perfect in the universe - even your desire to improve it.