One way to compensate for a tiny brain is to pretend to be dead.

Quote by Scott Adams

Topics: Scott Adams Quotes

As a rule, anything in a binder has very little value, except as building material.

As a rule, anything in a binder has very little value, except as building material.

If a job's worth doing, it's too hard.

If a job's worth doing, it's too hard.

Be careful that what you write does not offend anybody or cause problems within the...

Be careful that what you write does not offend anybody or cause problems within the...

The creator of the universe works in mysterious ways. But he uses a base ten...

The creator of the universe works in mysterious ways. But he uses a base ten...

And bring me a hard copy of the Internet so I can do some serious...

And bring me a hard copy of the Internet so I can do some serious...

All vendor demos are boring. It's the law, I think.

All vendor demos are boring. It's the law, I think.

You don't have to be a person of influence to be influential. In fact, the...

You don't have to be a person of influence to be influential. In fact, the...

The only risk of failure is promotion.

The only risk of failure is promotion.

If a job's worth doing, it's too hard.

If a job's worth doing, it's too hard.

In less enlightened times, the best way to impress women was to own a hot...

In less enlightened times, the best way to impress women was to own a hot...

Consultants have credibility because they are not dumb enough to work at your company

Consultants have credibility because they are not dumb enough to work at your company

Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep.

Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep.

Most success springs from an obstacle or failure. I became a cartoonist largely because I...

Most success springs from an obstacle or failure. I became a cartoonist largely because I...

We must develop knowledge optimization initiatives to leverage our key learnings.

We must develop knowledge optimization initiatives to leverage our key learnings.

I get mail; therefore I am.

I get mail; therefore I am.

The longer you work here, diverse it gets.

The longer you work here, diverse it gets.

Remember there's no such thing as a small act of kindness. Every act creates a...

Remember there's no such thing as a small act of kindness. Every act creates a...

There's nothing more dangerous than a resourceful idiot.

There's nothing more dangerous than a resourceful idiot.

If you have any trouble sounding condescending, find a Unix user to show you how...

If you have any trouble sounding condescending, find a Unix user to show you how...

Nothing defines humans better than their willingness to do irrational things in the pursuit of...

Nothing defines humans better than their willingness to do irrational things in the pursuit of...