Oh look, yet another Christmas TV special! How touching to have the meaning of Christmas brought to us by cola, fast food, and beer...Who'd have ever guessed that product consumption, popular entertainment, and spirituality would mix so harmoniously?

Quote by Bill Watterson

Topics: Christmas Quotes, Funny Quotes

I find my life is a lot easier the lower I keep everyone's expectations.

I find my life is a lot easier the lower I keep everyone's expectations.

Weekends don't count unless you spend them doing something completely pointless.

Weekends don't count unless you spend them doing something completely pointless.

Getting an inch of snow is like winning 10 cents in the lottery.

Getting an inch of snow is like winning 10 cents in the lottery.

When birds burp, it must taste like bugs.

When birds burp, it must taste like bugs.

I think we dream so we don't have to be apart so long. If we're...

I think we dream so we don't have to be apart so long. If we're...

If your knees aren't green by the end of the day, you ought to seriously...

If your knees aren't green by the end of the day, you ought to seriously...

Know what's weird? Day by day, nothing seems to change. But pretty soon, everything's different.

Know what's weird? Day by day, nothing seems to change. But pretty soon, everything's different.

The problem with people is that they're only human.

The problem with people is that they're only human.

The problem with the future is that it keeps turning into the present.

The problem with the future is that it keeps turning into the present.

Weekends don't count unless you spend them doing something completely pointless.

Weekends don't count unless you spend them doing something completely pointless.

Things are never quite as scary when you've got a best friend.

Things are never quite as scary when you've got a best friend.

Sometimes when I'm talking, my words can't keep up with my thoughts. I wonder why...

Sometimes when I'm talking, my words can't keep up with my thoughts. I wonder why...

We don't devote enough scientific research to finding a cure for jerks.

We don't devote enough scientific research to finding a cure for jerks.

It seems like once people grow up, they have no idea what's cool.

It seems like once people grow up, they have no idea what's cool.

A real job is a job you hate.

A real job is a job you hate.

That's the difference between me and the rest of the world! Happiness isn't good enough...

That's the difference between me and the rest of the world! Happiness isn't good enough...

I'm not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information.

I'm not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information.

I'm yet another resource-consuming kid in an overpopulated planet, raised to an alarming extent by...

I'm yet another resource-consuming kid in an overpopulated planet, raised to an alarming extent by...

No one has a closest friend in Hollywood.

No one has a closest friend in Hollywood.

My driving abilities from Mexico have helped me get through Hollywood.

My driving abilities from Mexico have helped me get through Hollywood.