Oh look, yet another Christmas TV special! How touching to have the meaning of Christmas brought to us by cola, fast food, and beer...Who'd have ever guessed that product consumption, popular entertainment, and spirituality would mix so harmoniously?

Quote by Bill Watterson

Topics: Christmas Quotes, Funny Quotes

The purpose of writing is to inflate weak ideas, obscure pure reasoning, and inhibit clarity....

The purpose of writing is to inflate weak ideas, obscure pure reasoning, and inhibit clarity....

Why isn't my life like a situation comedy? Why don't I have a bunch of...

Why isn't my life like a situation comedy? Why don't I have a bunch of...

Why waste time learning, when ignorance is instantaneous?

Why waste time learning, when ignorance is instantaneous?

Weekends don't count unless you spend them doing something completely pointless.

Weekends don't count unless you spend them doing something completely pointless.

When birds burp, it must taste like bugs.

When birds burp, it must taste like bugs.

It's not denial. I'm just selective about the reality I accept.

It's not denial. I'm just selective about the reality I accept.

Letting your mind play is the best way to solve problems.

Letting your mind play is the best way to solve problems.

Hobbes: Do you think there's a God? Calvin: Well, SOMEBODY'S out to get me.

Hobbes: Do you think there's a God? Calvin: Well, SOMEBODY'S out to get me.

I thought my life would seem more interesting with a musical score and a laugh...

I thought my life would seem more interesting with a musical score and a laugh...

Weekends don't count unless you spend them doing something completely pointless.

Weekends don't count unless you spend them doing something completely pointless.

Some people are pragmatists, taking things as they come and making the best of the...

Some people are pragmatists, taking things as they come and making the best of the...

I think we dream so we don't have to be apart so long. If we're...

I think we dream so we don't have to be apart so long. If we're...

It seems like once people grow up, they have no idea what's cool.

It seems like once people grow up, they have no idea what's cool.

There is not enough time to do all the nothing we want to do.

There is not enough time to do all the nothing we want to do.

We don't devote enough scientific research to finding a cure for jerks.

We don't devote enough scientific research to finding a cure for jerks.

If you can't control your peanut butter, you can't expect to control your life.

If you can't control your peanut butter, you can't expect to control your life.

I find my life is a lot easier the lower I keep everyone's expectations.

I find my life is a lot easier the lower I keep everyone's expectations.

Never idealize others. They will never live up to your expectations.

Never idealize others. They will never live up to your expectations.

If you're not just a little bit nervous before a match, you probably don't have...

If you're not just a little bit nervous before a match, you probably don't have...

People see you as an object, not as a person, and they project a set...

People see you as an object, not as a person, and they project a set...

Our minds are finite, and yet even in these circumstances of infinitude we are surrounded...

Our minds are finite, and yet even in these circumstances of infinitude we are surrounded...