A recent conversation: Dubya: Look at the clock, time is racing! Cheney: That's the second hand, George.

Quote by Dennis Miller

Topics: Clocks Quotes

The average Americans day planner has fewer holes in it than Ray Charless dart board.

The average Americans day planner has fewer holes in it than Ray Charless dart board.

There's nothing wrong with being shallow as long as you're insightful about it.

There's nothing wrong with being shallow as long as you're insightful about it.

The radical right is so homophobic that they're blaming global warming on the AIDS quilt.

The radical right is so homophobic that they're blaming global warming on the AIDS quilt.

Human beings are human beings. They say what they want, don't they? They used to...

Human beings are human beings. They say what they want, don't they? They used to...

I rant, therefore I am.

I rant, therefore I am.

Santa is very jolly because he knows where all the bad girls live.

Santa is very jolly because he knows where all the bad girls live.

The radical right is so homophobic that they're blaming global warming on the AIDS quilt.

The radical right is so homophobic that they're blaming global warming on the AIDS quilt.

Washington, DC is to lying what Wisconsin is to cheese.

Washington, DC is to lying what Wisconsin is to cheese.

Never ever discount the idea of marriage. Sure, someone might tell you that marriage is...

Never ever discount the idea of marriage. Sure, someone might tell you that marriage is...

The average American's day planner has fewer holes in it than Ray Charles's dart board.

The average American's day planner has fewer holes in it than Ray Charles's dart board.

Parenting is the most important job on the planet next to keeping Gary Busey off...

Parenting is the most important job on the planet next to keeping Gary Busey off...

Liberals should not overplay this weapons of mass destruction card, because you want me to...

Liberals should not overplay this weapons of mass destruction card, because you want me to...

A new poll shows that Senator Kerry's support in the South is strongest amongst blacks....

A new poll shows that Senator Kerry's support in the South is strongest amongst blacks....

You know there is a problem with the education system when you realize that out...

You know there is a problem with the education system when you realize that out...

Elected office holds more perks than Elvis' nightstand.

Elected office holds more perks than Elvis' nightstand.

I lapsed into rude.

I lapsed into rude.

I'm a comedian, for God's sake. Viewers shouldn't trust me. And you know what? They're...

I'm a comedian, for God's sake. Viewers shouldn't trust me. And you know what? They're...

What is guilt? Guilt is the pledge drive constantly hammering in our heads that keeps...

What is guilt? Guilt is the pledge drive constantly hammering in our heads that keeps...

It's ironic that in our culture everyone's biggest complaint is about not having enough time;...

It's ironic that in our culture everyone's biggest complaint is about not having enough time;...

Now, I don't want to get off on a rant here, but guilt is simply...

Now, I don't want to get off on a rant here, but guilt is simply...