My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to.

Quote by Rita Rudner

Topics: Break Up Quotes, Funny Quotes

In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk.

In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk.

I want to have children, but my friends scare me. One of my friends told...

I want to have children, but my friends scare me. One of my friends told...

Beer is good food

Beer is good food

Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect...

Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect...

To attract men, I wear a perfume called New Car Interior.

To attract men, I wear a perfume called New Car Interior.

I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight.

I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight.

The time you spend grieving over a man should never exceed the amount of time...

The time you spend grieving over a man should never exceed the amount of time...

Men reach their sexual peak at eighteen. Women reach theirs at thirty-five. Do you get...

Men reach their sexual peak at eighteen. Women reach theirs at thirty-five. Do you get...

Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy, the first question I ask myself is:...

Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy, the first question I ask myself is:...

The closest I ever came to a menage-a-trois was when I dated a schizophrenic.

The closest I ever came to a menage-a-trois was when I dated a schizophrenic.

I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced...

I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced...

Men who tell you they read the Ann Summers catalogue for the articles are lying.

Men who tell you they read the Ann Summers catalogue for the articles are lying.

Life is tough enough without having someone kick you from the inside.

Life is tough enough without having someone kick you from the inside.

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.

My mother buried three husbands - and two of them were only napping.

My mother buried three husbands - and two of them were only napping.

I know I want to have children while my parents are still young enough to...

I know I want to have children while my parents are still young enough to...

Most turkeys taste better the day after, my mother's tasted better the day before

Most turkeys taste better the day after, my mother's tasted better the day before

Whenever I date a guy, I think, 'Is this the man I want my children...

Whenever I date a guy, I think, 'Is this the man I want my children...

It wasn't that no one asked me to the prom, it was that no one...

It wasn't that no one asked me to the prom, it was that no one...

I love to shop after a bad relationship. I don't know. I buy a new...

I love to shop after a bad relationship. I don't know. I buy a new...