I want to have children, but my friends scare me. One of my friends told me she was in labor for 36 hours. I don't even want to do anything that feels good for 36 hours.

Quote by Rita Rudner

Topics: Friends Quotes

My grandmother was a very tough woman. She buried three husbands and two of them...

My grandmother was a very tough woman. She buried three husbands and two of them...

When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was...

When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was...

My mother buried three husbands - and two of them were only napping.

My mother buried three husbands - and two of them were only napping.

Love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to...

Love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to...

I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed that the doctor's office was...

I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed that the doctor's office was...

My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want...

My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want...

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.

Some people think having large breasts makes a woman stupid. Actually, it's quite the opposite:...

Some people think having large breasts makes a woman stupid. Actually, it's quite the opposite:...

My husband gave me a necklace. It's fake. I requested fake. Maybe I'm paranoid, but...

My husband gave me a necklace. It's fake. I requested fake. Maybe I'm paranoid, but...

It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the...

It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the...

Men reach their sexual peak at eighteen. Women reach theirs at thirty-five. Do you get...

Men reach their sexual peak at eighteen. Women reach theirs at thirty-five. Do you get...

The closest I ever came to a menage-a-trois was when I dated a schizophrenic.

The closest I ever came to a menage-a-trois was when I dated a schizophrenic.

They usually have two tellers in my local bank, except when it's very busy, when...

They usually have two tellers in my local bank, except when it's very busy, when...

Men reach their sexual peak at eighteen. Women reach theirs at thirty-five. Do you get...

Men reach their sexual peak at eighteen. Women reach theirs at thirty-five. Do you get...

Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect...

Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect...

Men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage - they've experienced pain...

Men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage - they've experienced pain...

In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk.

In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk.

Me fail english? Thats unpossible.

Me fail english? Thats unpossible.

Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle.

Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle.

Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing.

Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing.