And to answer the question that people have about this conspiracy theory that he has a pack in his back, my answer is, if someone was feeding him answers, couldn't they be able to feed him better ones than he…

Quote by Bill Maher

Topics: Comedy Quotes, Humor Quotes, Politics Quotes

It's all been satirized for your protection.

It's all been satirized for your protection.

Abstinence is a perversion.

Abstinence is a perversion.

Hi, I'm Bill. I'm a birth survivor.

Hi, I'm Bill. I'm a birth survivor.

Everything that used to be a sin is now a disease.

Everything that used to be a sin is now a disease.

A group of Cuban Americans denounced the Castro government as a fascist regime that monitors...

A group of Cuban Americans denounced the Castro government as a fascist regime that monitors...

They're talking about banning cigarette smoking now in any place that's used by ten or...

They're talking about banning cigarette smoking now in any place that's used by ten or...

Stop worrying. Hollywood wont turn your daughter into a nymphomaniac or get her hooked on...

Stop worrying. Hollywood wont turn your daughter into a nymphomaniac or get her hooked on...

To me a real patriot is like a real friend. Who's your real friend? It's...

To me a real patriot is like a real friend. Who's your real friend? It's...

My wife always has a splitting archetype whenever I want to have sex.

My wife always has a splitting archetype whenever I want to have sex.

Whenever the people are for gay marriage or medical marijuana or assisted suicide, suddenly the...

Whenever the people are for gay marriage or medical marijuana or assisted suicide, suddenly the...

Religion, to me, is a bureaucracy between man and God that I don't need.

Religion, to me, is a bureaucracy between man and God that I don't need.

Men are only as loyal as their options.

Men are only as loyal as their options.

Jim Bakker spells his name with two k's because three would be too obvious.

Jim Bakker spells his name with two k's because three would be too obvious.

The younger generation is supposed to rage against the machine, not for it. They're supposed...

The younger generation is supposed to rage against the machine, not for it. They're supposed...

Nobody sees people as people. It's all how they relate to my little group.

Nobody sees people as people. It's all how they relate to my little group.

Iraq now says that it will, after all, destroy its missiles. President Bush said, 'Please,...

Iraq now says that it will, after all, destroy its missiles. President Bush said, 'Please,...

Things aren't right. If a burglar breaks into your home and you shoot him, he...

Things aren't right. If a burglar breaks into your home and you shoot him, he...

Little do women know what big ideas I have in my pants.

Little do women know what big ideas I have in my pants.

Now the only thing I miss about sex is the cigarette afterward. Next to the...

Now the only thing I miss about sex is the cigarette afterward. Next to the...

Sex appeal is fifty percent what you've got and fifty percent what people think you've...

Sex appeal is fifty percent what you've got and fifty percent what people think you've...