Magic Johnson, former basketball player, may run for mayor of LA in the next election. Remember the good 'ol days when only qualified people ran for office like actors and professional wrestlers.

Quote by Jay Leno

Topics: Jay Leno Quotes

Magic Johnson, former basketball player, may run for mayor of LA in the next election....

Magic Johnson, former basketball player, may run for mayor of LA in the next election....

The University of Ilinois has hired 15 women to smell pig manure all day so...

The University of Ilinois has hired 15 women to smell pig manure all day so...

According to New York publishers, Bill Clinton will get more money for his book than...

According to New York publishers, Bill Clinton will get more money for his book than...

If you don't want your dog to have bad breath, do what I do: Pour...

If you don't want your dog to have bad breath, do what I do: Pour...

Men are liars. We lie about lying if we have to.

Men are liars. We lie about lying if we have to.

According to New York publishers, Bill Clinton will get more money for his book than...

According to New York publishers, Bill Clinton will get more money for his book than...

New Year's Eve, where auld acquaintance be forgot. Unless, of course, those tests come back...

New Year's Eve, where auld acquaintance be forgot. Unless, of course, those tests come back...

Do you know what White House correspondents call actors who pose as reporters? Anchors.

Do you know what White House correspondents call actors who pose as reporters? Anchors.

President Bush played golf yesterday and I understand Vice President Dick Cheney also got in...

President Bush played golf yesterday and I understand Vice President Dick Cheney also got in...

NBC - no body cares.

NBC - no body cares.

Don't forget Mother's Day. Or as they call it in Beverly Hills, Dad's Third Wife...

Don't forget Mother's Day. Or as they call it in Beverly Hills, Dad's Third Wife...

President Bush is taking the entire month of August off. Bush said today he thinks...

President Bush is taking the entire month of August off. Bush said today he thinks...

My wife is going to kill me. But you look like my wife, so that's...

My wife is going to kill me. But you look like my wife, so that's...

I went into a McDonald's yesterday and said, I'd like some fries. The girl at...

I went into a McDonald's yesterday and said, I'd like some fries. The girl at...

Heres something to think about: How come you never see a headline like Psychic Wins...

Heres something to think about: How come you never see a headline like Psychic Wins...

For the first time in history, sex is more dangerous than the cigarette afterward.

For the first time in history, sex is more dangerous than the cigarette afterward.

More coming out about Saddam Hussein. We now know he takes Viagra and he has...

More coming out about Saddam Hussein. We now know he takes Viagra and he has...

Today is Valentine's Day - or, as men like to call it, Extortion Day!

Today is Valentine's Day - or, as men like to call it, Extortion Day!

You can't stay mad at somebody who makes you laugh.

You can't stay mad at somebody who makes you laugh.

I think high self-esteem is overrated. A little low self-esteem is actually quite good. Maybe...

I think high self-esteem is overrated. A little low self-esteem is actually quite good. Maybe...