Kelsey Grammer has launched his own website to refute stories about him in the tabloids.

Quote by Andy Waits

Topics: Funny Quotes, Putdowns Quotes

While he was talking at Baylor University, President Bush said, Times are kind of tough....

While he was talking at Baylor University, President Bush said, Times are kind of tough....

Roger Ebert has had his right thumb trademarked. Now the police will actually have to...

Roger Ebert has had his right thumb trademarked. Now the police will actually have to...

In comic strips, the person on the left always speaks first.

In comic strips, the person on the left always speaks first.

Age is a tyrant who forbids at the penalty of life all the pleasures of...

Age is a tyrant who forbids at the penalty of life all the pleasures of...

I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.

I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.

I learned a long time ago that minor surgery is when they do the operation...

I learned a long time ago that minor surgery is when they do the operation...

I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex. In fact, I...

I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex. In fact, I...

I never turned to drink. It seemed to turn to me.

I never turned to drink. It seemed to turn to me.

Some of the dirtiest dogs, past and present, had mothers.

Some of the dirtiest dogs, past and present, had mothers.

There are three things most men love but never understand: females, girls and women.

There are three things most men love but never understand: females, girls and women.

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone...

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone...

The toilets at a local police station have been stolen. Police say they have nothing...

The toilets at a local police station have been stolen. Police say they have nothing...

When I exercise, I wear all black. It's like a funeral for my fat.

When I exercise, I wear all black. It's like a funeral for my fat.

Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the...

Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the...

You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline -...

You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline -...

Those who can do, those who can't teach.

Those who can do, those who can't teach.

We are the children of a technological age. We have found streamlined ways of doing...

We are the children of a technological age. We have found streamlined ways of doing...

The Irish ignore anything they can't drink or punch.

The Irish ignore anything they can't drink or punch.

In the age in which we live, the impossible is every day losing ground.

In the age in which we live, the impossible is every day losing ground.

When you see a married couple walking down the street, the one that's a few...

When you see a married couple walking down the street, the one that's a few...

Our subconscious minds have no sense of humor, play no jokes and cannot tell the...

Our subconscious minds have no sense of humor, play no jokes and cannot tell the...