Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink, I think female alcoholics should be told not to fuck.

Quote by George Carlin

Topics: Women Quotes

Little-known fact: When the stock exchange closes, the guy who comes out on the balcony...

Little-known fact: When the stock exchange closes, the guy who comes out on the balcony...

Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.

Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.

The very existence of flame-throwers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, You...

The very existence of flame-throwers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, You...

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone...

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone...

Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time.

Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time.

Most people with low self-esteem have earned it

Most people with low self-esteem have earned it

I am is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that...

I am is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that...

Electricity is really just organized lightning.

Electricity is really just organized lightning.

If a movie is described as a romantic comedy you can usually find me next...

If a movie is described as a romantic comedy you can usually find me next...

The reason I talk to myself is that I'm the only one whose answers I...

The reason I talk to myself is that I'm the only one whose answers I...

The reason I talk to myself is because Im the only one whose answers I...

The reason I talk to myself is because Im the only one whose answers I...

I'm always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize I'm listening to...

I'm always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize I'm listening to...

If a man smiles all the time, he's probably selling something that doesn't work

If a man smiles all the time, he's probably selling something that doesn't work

Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider...

Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider...

I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, Where's the self-help section? She said...

I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, Where's the self-help section? She said...

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more...

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more...

If a movie is described as a romantic comedy you can usually find me next...

If a movie is described as a romantic comedy you can usually find me next...

In comic strips, the person on the left always speaks first.

In comic strips, the person on the left always speaks first.

I'm all about sharing the road with other drivers...as long as they use the part...

I'm all about sharing the road with other drivers...as long as they use the part...

If a writer has to rob his mother, he will not hesitate: The 'Ode on...

If a writer has to rob his mother, he will not hesitate: The 'Ode on...