If only you would be altogether silent! For you, that would be wisdom.

Quote by Job 13:5

Topics: Funny Quotes

In mathematics, you don't understand things. You just get used to them.

In mathematics, you don't understand things. You just get used to them.

Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope.

Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope.

Sisters never quite forgive each other for what happened when they were five.

Sisters never quite forgive each other for what happened when they were five.

When its a question of money, everybody is of the same religion.

When its a question of money, everybody is of the same religion.

Every time I see something terrible, it's like I see it at age 19. I...

Every time I see something terrible, it's like I see it at age 19. I...

I have tried to know absolutely nothing about a great many things, and I have...

I have tried to know absolutely nothing about a great many things, and I have...

Math teacher: I have 5 bottles in one hand, and 6 in the other. What...

Math teacher: I have 5 bottles in one hand, and 6 in the other. What...

It is unthinkable for a Frenchman to arrive at middle age without having syphilis and...

It is unthinkable for a Frenchman to arrive at middle age without having syphilis and...

A poet must need be before his own age, to be even with posterity.

A poet must need be before his own age, to be even with posterity.

When I was a kid my favorite relative was Uncle Caveman. After school we'd all...

When I was a kid my favorite relative was Uncle Caveman. After school we'd all...

There is no absurdity so obvious that it cannot be firmly planted in the human...

There is no absurdity so obvious that it cannot be firmly planted in the human...

I do wish I could tell you my age but it's impossible. It keeps changing...

I do wish I could tell you my age but it's impossible. It keeps changing...

I know a baseball star who wouldn't report the theft of his wife's credit cards...

I know a baseball star who wouldn't report the theft of his wife's credit cards...

A pessimist is a man who thinks all women are bad. An optimist is a...

A pessimist is a man who thinks all women are bad. An optimist is a...

The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a...

The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a...

If it weren't for the last minute, nothing would get done...

If it weren't for the last minute, nothing would get done...

It's better to keep your mouth shut and give the impression that you're stupid than...

It's better to keep your mouth shut and give the impression that you're stupid than...

California is a fine place to live - if you happen to be an orange.

California is a fine place to live - if you happen to be an orange.