Golf is a wonderful exercise. You can stand on your feet for hours, watching somebody else putt.

Quote by Will Rogers

Topics: Funny Quotes, Golf Quotes

Now if there is one thing that we do worse than any other nation, it...

Now if there is one thing that we do worse than any other nation, it...

In Hollywood you can see things at night that are fast enough to be in...

In Hollywood you can see things at night that are fast enough to be in...

Never miss a chance to shut up

Never miss a chance to shut up

America is becoming so educated that ignorance will be a novelty. I will belong to...

America is becoming so educated that ignorance will be a novelty. I will belong to...

Youve got to go out on a limb sometimes, because thats where the fruit is.

Youve got to go out on a limb sometimes, because thats where the fruit is.

And the thing about my jokes is, they don't hurt anybody. You can take 'em...

And the thing about my jokes is, they don't hurt anybody. You can take 'em...

People that pay for things never complain. It's the guy you give something to that...

People that pay for things never complain. It's the guy you give something to that...

Communism to me is one-third practice and two-thirds explanation.

Communism to me is one-third practice and two-thirds explanation.

Always drink upstream from the herd.

Always drink upstream from the herd.

Instead of giving money to found colleges to promote learning, why don't they pass a...

Instead of giving money to found colleges to promote learning, why don't they pass a...

If I studied all my life, I couldn't think up half the number of funny...

If I studied all my life, I couldn't think up half the number of funny...

The farmer has to be an optimist or he wouldn't still be a farmer.

The farmer has to be an optimist or he wouldn't still be a farmer.

I tell you, all politics is apple sauce.

I tell you, all politics is apple sauce.

The minute you read something that you can't understand, you can almost be sure that...

The minute you read something that you can't understand, you can almost be sure that...

Old Hollywood is just like a desert water in Africa. Hang around long enough and...

Old Hollywood is just like a desert water in Africa. Hang around long enough and...

Why don't they pass a constitutional amendment prohibiting anybody from learning anything? If it works...

Why don't they pass a constitutional amendment prohibiting anybody from learning anything? If it works...

If you can build a business up big enough, it's respectable.

If you can build a business up big enough, it's respectable.

I'm not a real movie star. I've still got the same wife I started out...

I'm not a real movie star. I've still got the same wife I started out...

Who else sneaks in their own candy to the movie theater? 10$ for a bag...

Who else sneaks in their own candy to the movie theater? 10$ for a bag...

A movie camera is like having someone you have a crush on watching you from...

A movie camera is like having someone you have a crush on watching you from...