I would not know how I am supposed to feel about many stories if not for the fact that the TV news personalities make sad faces for sad stories and happy faces for happy stories.

Quote by Dave Barry

Topics: Dave Barry Quotes

There is a breed of fashion models who weigh no more than an abridged dictionary.

There is a breed of fashion models who weigh no more than an abridged dictionary.

The simple truth is that balding African-American men look cool when they shave their heads,...

The simple truth is that balding African-American men look cool when they shave their heads,...

I argue very well. Ask any of my remaining friends. I can win an argument...

I argue very well. Ask any of my remaining friends. I can win an argument...

If you were to open up a baby's head - and I am not for...

If you were to open up a baby's head - and I am not for...

The Internet is the most important single development in the history of human communication since...

The Internet is the most important single development in the history of human communication since...

Never assume that the guy understands that you and he have a relationship.

Never assume that the guy understands that you and he have a relationship.

Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there...

Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there...

As a child, I was more afraid of tetanus shots than, for example, Dracula.

As a child, I was more afraid of tetanus shots than, for example, Dracula.

For me, the worst part of playing golf, by far, has always been hitting the...

For me, the worst part of playing golf, by far, has always been hitting the...

It always rains on tents. Rainstorms will travel thousands of miles, against prevailing winds for...

It always rains on tents. Rainstorms will travel thousands of miles, against prevailing winds for...

The world is full of strange phenomena that cannot be explained by the laws of...

The world is full of strange phenomena that cannot be explained by the laws of...

The primary function of the government is - and here I am quoting directly from...

The primary function of the government is - and here I am quoting directly from...

Have you noticed that whatever sport you're trying to learn, some earnest person is always...

Have you noticed that whatever sport you're trying to learn, some earnest person is always...

Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.

Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.

To an adolescent, there is nothing in the world more embarrassing than a parent.

To an adolescent, there is nothing in the world more embarrassing than a parent.

The word user is the word used by the computer professional when they mean idiot.

The word user is the word used by the computer professional when they mean idiot.

I argue very well. Ask any of my remaining friends. I can win an argument...

I argue very well. Ask any of my remaining friends. I can win an argument...

People Express is clearly the archetypical deregulation success story and the most spectacular of my...

People Express is clearly the archetypical deregulation success story and the most spectacular of my...

I didn't know how babies were made until I was pregnant with my fourth child.

I didn't know how babies were made until I was pregnant with my fourth child.

We can see the child moving rather serenely in the uterus. The child senses aggression...

We can see the child moving rather serenely in the uterus. The child senses aggression...