I sang in the choir for years, even though my family belonged to another church.

Quote by Paul Lynde

Topics: Funny Quotes

When I said I didn't have a cent, I didn't. I used to get annoyed...

When I said I didn't have a cent, I didn't. I used to get annoyed...

I have an ulcer. It has an IQ of 185.

I have an ulcer. It has an IQ of 185.

Politicians... talk in generalities and lies, and I think they've caused all our grief. They're...

Politicians... talk in generalities and lies, and I think they've caused all our grief. They're...

My dad was a ham, too. He could sell those women anything. Of all his...

My dad was a ham, too. He could sell those women anything. Of all his...

Comedy is exaggerated realism. It can be stretched to the almost ludicrous, but it must...

Comedy is exaggerated realism. It can be stretched to the almost ludicrous, but it must...

When I said I didn't have a cent, I didn't. I used to get annoyed...

When I said I didn't have a cent, I didn't. I used to get annoyed...

I don't know who the hell Paul Lynde is, or why he's funny, and I...

I don't know who the hell Paul Lynde is, or why he's funny, and I...

I was obsessed with being rich and famous.

I was obsessed with being rich and famous.

I may find something that looks interesting and then go on to alter the recipe...

I may find something that looks interesting and then go on to alter the recipe...

I have this beautiful antique silver wine decanter that I bought at an auction. I...

I have this beautiful antique silver wine decanter that I bought at an auction. I...

My following is straight. I'm so glad.

My following is straight. I'm so glad.

It was the worst moment of my life. The producer came up and talked me...

It was the worst moment of my life. The producer came up and talked me...

An actor shouldn't undergo psychoanalysis, because there are a lot of things you're better off...

An actor shouldn't undergo psychoanalysis, because there are a lot of things you're better off...

A closet full of wire hangers can be the most dangerous place in the world.

A closet full of wire hangers can be the most dangerous place in the world.

I'm Liberace without a piano.

I'm Liberace without a piano.

I feel now it's useless to keep hoping. The way things are today, we live...

I feel now it's useless to keep hoping. The way things are today, we live...

The doctor's name was Sylvia. I told her she'd have a problem with me because...

The doctor's name was Sylvia. I told her she'd have a problem with me because...

I can't even get three weeks off to have cosmetic surgery.

I can't even get three weeks off to have cosmetic surgery.

Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving...

Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving...

Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy...

Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy...