I sang in the choir for years, even though my family belonged to another church.

Quote by Paul Lynde

Topics: Funny Quotes

Someday I'm going to go onstage in a dress if I want to.

Someday I'm going to go onstage in a dress if I want to.

Mothers don't want to pinch me or put me in their purse.

Mothers don't want to pinch me or put me in their purse.

I may find something that looks interesting and then go on to alter the recipe...

I may find something that looks interesting and then go on to alter the recipe...

A closet full of wire hangers can be the most dangerous place in the world.

A closet full of wire hangers can be the most dangerous place in the world.

My father was adamant in his disapproval of my interest in show business.

My father was adamant in his disapproval of my interest in show business.

The doctor's name was Sylvia. I told her she'd have a problem with me because...

The doctor's name was Sylvia. I told her she'd have a problem with me because...

My dad was a ham, too. He could sell those women anything. Of all his...

My dad was a ham, too. He could sell those women anything. Of all his...

I don't always prepare such rich meals. Sometimes I'll just serve a simple quiche, salad...

I don't always prepare such rich meals. Sometimes I'll just serve a simple quiche, salad...

Comedy is exaggerated realism. It can be stretched to the almost ludicrous, but it must...

Comedy is exaggerated realism. It can be stretched to the almost ludicrous, but it must...

Learning lines is on my mind until I do know them. I'll read the paper...

Learning lines is on my mind until I do know them. I'll read the paper...

I laughed all the way through Love Story.

I laughed all the way through Love Story.

If I ever completely lost my nervousness I would be frightened half to death.

If I ever completely lost my nervousness I would be frightened half to death.

If I hadn't become a celebrity, I'd probably be an alcoholic.

If I hadn't become a celebrity, I'd probably be an alcoholic.

My following is straight. I'm so glad.

My following is straight. I'm so glad.

My kitchen is not a place to live in. I made it white so I...

My kitchen is not a place to live in. I made it white so I...

Politicians... talk in generalities and lies, and I think they've caused all our grief. They're...

Politicians... talk in generalities and lies, and I think they've caused all our grief. They're...

The dining room in my old house was truly magnificent, but by far the worst...

The dining room in my old house was truly magnificent, but by far the worst...

My table seats eight, so that's my maximum. Having a small number of guests is...

My table seats eight, so that's my maximum. Having a small number of guests is...

An actor shouldn't undergo psychoanalysis, because there are a lot of things you're better off...

An actor shouldn't undergo psychoanalysis, because there are a lot of things you're better off...

I have this beautiful antique silver wine decanter that I bought at an auction. I...

I have this beautiful antique silver wine decanter that I bought at an auction. I...