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I'm Liberace without a piano.

I'm Liberace without a piano.

If I ever completely lost my nervousness I would be frightened half to death.

If I ever completely lost my nervousness I would be frightened half to death.

If I hadn't become a celebrity, I'd probably be an alcoholic.

If I hadn't become a celebrity, I'd probably be an alcoholic.

If I'm not working, I don't know what to do.

If I'm not working, I don't know what to do.

I often go on a liquid fast a couple of days a week. I never...

I often go on a liquid fast a couple of days a week. I never...

I think basically an actor is a salesman.

I think basically an actor is a salesman.

I was obsessed with being rich and famous.

I was obsessed with being rich and famous.

I wish I had the nerve not to tip.

I wish I had the nerve not to tip.

Comedy is exaggerated realism. It can be stretched to the almost ludicrous, but it must...

Comedy is exaggerated realism. It can be stretched to the almost ludicrous, but it must...

Food was a constant topic of conversation in our household.

Food was a constant topic of conversation in our household.

I don't always prepare such rich meals. Sometimes I'll just serve a simple quiche, salad...

I don't always prepare such rich meals. Sometimes I'll just serve a simple quiche, salad...

I don't know who the hell Paul Lynde is, or why he's funny, and I...

I don't know who the hell Paul Lynde is, or why he's funny, and I...

I don't understand why people don't remember my name.

I don't understand why people don't remember my name.

I feel now it's useless to keep hoping. The way things are today, we live...

I feel now it's useless to keep hoping. The way things are today, we live...

I have an ulcer. It has an IQ of 185.

I have an ulcer. It has an IQ of 185.

I have this beautiful antique silver wine decanter that I bought at an auction. I...

I have this beautiful antique silver wine decanter that I bought at an auction. I...

I laughed all the way through Love Story.

I laughed all the way through Love Story.

I may find something that looks interesting and then go on to alter the recipe...

I may find something that looks interesting and then go on to alter the recipe...