I never drink coffee at work...mainly because it keeps me awake.

Topics: Funny Quotes, Work Quotes

A good marriage is like a casserole, only those responsible for it really know what...

A good marriage is like a casserole, only those responsible for it really know what...

Oh aye...my Father would thrash me every now and then. He'd talk while he did...

Oh aye...my Father would thrash me every now and then. He'd talk while he did...

Im not really a good singer. But most people arent, either.

Im not really a good singer. But most people arent, either.

Everyone should have kids. They are the greatest joy in the world. But they are...

Everyone should have kids. They are the greatest joy in the world. But they are...

Nothing more cheerful than talking about our friends shortcomings.

Nothing more cheerful than talking about our friends shortcomings.

A stockbroker urged me to buy a stock that would triple its value every year....

A stockbroker urged me to buy a stock that would triple its value every year....

Example isn't another way to teach, it is the only way to teach.

Example isn't another way to teach, it is the only way to teach.

Shout out to all the people born in 1928 celebrating their 21st birthday! Happy Leap...

Shout out to all the people born in 1928 celebrating their 21st birthday! Happy Leap...

Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world.

Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world.

Another possible source of guidance for teenagers is television, but television's message has always been...

Another possible source of guidance for teenagers is television, but television's message has always been...

At 20 years of age the will reigns; at 30 the wit; at 40 the...

At 20 years of age the will reigns; at 30 the wit; at 40 the...

The world is not growing worse and it is not growing better -- it is...

The world is not growing worse and it is not growing better -- it is...

The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.

The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.

Opportunity is always knocking. The problem is that most people have the self-doubt station in...

Opportunity is always knocking. The problem is that most people have the self-doubt station in...

Weekends don't pay as well as weekdays but at least there's football.

Weekends don't pay as well as weekdays but at least there's football.

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember...

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember...

I used to keep my college room mate from reading my personal mail by hiding...

I used to keep my college room mate from reading my personal mail by hiding...

What's the three words you never want to hear while making love? Honey, I'm home.

What's the three words you never want to hear while making love? Honey, I'm home.

It is only when I am doing my work that I feel truly alive.

It is only when I am doing my work that I feel truly alive.

The work of an advertising agency is warmly and immediately human. It deals with human...

The work of an advertising agency is warmly and immediately human. It deals with human...