When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself.

Quote by Peter O'Toole

Topics: Funny Quotes, God Quotes

When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized...

When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized...

If you think Independence Day is Americas defining holiday, think again. Thanksgiving deserves that title,...

If you think Independence Day is Americas defining holiday, think again. Thanksgiving deserves that title,...

Advice is like castor oil, easy to give, but dreadful to take.

Advice is like castor oil, easy to give, but dreadful to take.

Tony Blair is like an actor who doesn't really believe in his script himself but...

Tony Blair is like an actor who doesn't really believe in his script himself but...

Experience is a revelation in the light of which we renounce our errors of youth...

Experience is a revelation in the light of which we renounce our errors of youth...

The latest refinements of science are linked with the cruelties of the Stone Age.

The latest refinements of science are linked with the cruelties of the Stone Age.

I wish my microwave had a 'stealth mode' so the people I'm living with don't...

I wish my microwave had a 'stealth mode' so the people I'm living with don't...

Laughter is the closest distance between two people.

Laughter is the closest distance between two people.

Every murderer is probably somebody's old friend.

Every murderer is probably somebody's old friend.

I have never made but one prayer to God, a very short one: 'O Lord,...

I have never made but one prayer to God, a very short one: 'O Lord,...

I found there was only one way to look thin, hang out with fat people.

I found there was only one way to look thin, hang out with fat people.

You have a cough? Go home tonight; eat a whole box of Ex-Lax - tomorrow...

You have a cough? Go home tonight; eat a whole box of Ex-Lax - tomorrow...

24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?

24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?

Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant...

Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant...

Even though a number of people have tried, no one has yet found a way...

Even though a number of people have tried, no one has yet found a way...

Before Shaq retired, they should have made him play a game dressed as Kazaam.

Before Shaq retired, they should have made him play a game dressed as Kazaam.

All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy

All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy

Females : they hate it when you ask their age, but they'll kill you if...

Females : they hate it when you ask their age, but they'll kill you if...

The answer to old age is to keep one's mind busy and to go on...

The answer to old age is to keep one's mind busy and to go on...

No woman wants to be in submission to a man who isn't in submission to...

No woman wants to be in submission to a man who isn't in submission to...