When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself.

Quote by Peter O'Toole

Topics: Funny Quotes, God Quotes

When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized...

When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized...

I don't exaggerate - I just remember big

I don't exaggerate - I just remember big

I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather... Not screaming and yelling like...

I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather... Not screaming and yelling like...

Remember, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.

Remember, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.

He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.

He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.

Skill is successfully walking a tightrope over Niagara Falls. Intelligence is not trying.

Skill is successfully walking a tightrope over Niagara Falls. Intelligence is not trying.

To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer.

To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer.

Don't knock masturbation - it's sex with someone I love

Don't knock masturbation - it's sex with someone I love

And God said, 'Let there be light' and there was light, but the Electricity Board...

And God said, 'Let there be light' and there was light, but the Electricity Board...

I thought coq au vin was love in a lorry.

I thought coq au vin was love in a lorry.

When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. It's a...

When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. It's a...

The water was not fit to drink. To make it palatable, we had to add...

The water was not fit to drink. To make it palatable, we had to add...

Never raise your hand to your children - it leaves your midsection unprotected.

Never raise your hand to your children - it leaves your midsection unprotected.

When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.

When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.

The problem of our age is the proper administration of wealth, so that the ties...

The problem of our age is the proper administration of wealth, so that the ties...

I always wait for the Times each morning. I look at the obituary column and...

I always wait for the Times each morning. I look at the obituary column and...

Ours is an age of criticism, to which everything must be subjected. The sacredness of...

Ours is an age of criticism, to which everything must be subjected. The sacredness of...

Don't bother me at work...unless cake is involved.

Don't bother me at work...unless cake is involved.

Almost everyone has or will experience getting dumped in their lifetime. Unless, of course, you're...

Almost everyone has or will experience getting dumped in their lifetime. Unless, of course, you're...

God help the rich, the poor can beg

God help the rich, the poor can beg