I hate when I'm about to hug someone really sexy and then my face hits the mirror.

Topics: Funny Quotes, Silly Quotes

The arrogance of age must submit to be taught by youth.

The arrogance of age must submit to be taught by youth.

The latest refinements of science are linked with the cruelties of the Stone Age.

The latest refinements of science are linked with the cruelties of the Stone Age.

Save a boyfriend for a rainy dayand another, in case it doesn't rain.

Save a boyfriend for a rainy dayand another, in case it doesn't rain.

I've dated men my age, younger than me and older. The only difference is the...

I've dated men my age, younger than me and older. The only difference is the...

When I was born ... the doctor came out to the waiting room and said...

When I was born ... the doctor came out to the waiting room and said...

In an age when man has forgotten his origins and is blind even to his...

In an age when man has forgotten his origins and is blind even to his...

You should make a point of trying every experience once, excepting incest and folk-dancing.

You should make a point of trying every experience once, excepting incest and folk-dancing.

Getting an inch of snow is like winning 10 cents in the lottery.

Getting an inch of snow is like winning 10 cents in the lottery.

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

When grace is joined with wrinkles, it is adorable. There is an unspeakable dawn in...

When grace is joined with wrinkles, it is adorable. There is an unspeakable dawn in...

One of the worst things that can happen in life is to win a bet...

One of the worst things that can happen in life is to win a bet...

The harvest of old age is the recollection and abundance of blessing previously secured.

The harvest of old age is the recollection and abundance of blessing previously secured.

If you don't believe in ghosts, you've never been to a family reunion.

If you don't believe in ghosts, you've never been to a family reunion.

Gravitation can not be held responsible for people falling in love.

Gravitation can not be held responsible for people falling in love.

There are worse occupations in this world than feeling a woman's pulse.

There are worse occupations in this world than feeling a woman's pulse.

Have you seen my Kung fu lately? Cause it has gotten totally awsome!

Have you seen my Kung fu lately? Cause it has gotten totally awsome!

If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam.

If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam.

Age is honourable and youth is noble.

Age is honourable and youth is noble.

Dear 'cool people', they didn't name a candy after you, did they? Sincerely, Nerds.

Dear 'cool people', they didn't name a candy after you, did they? Sincerely, Nerds.

Love is like any other luxury. You have no right to it unless you can...

Love is like any other luxury. You have no right to it unless you can...