I hate small towns because once you've seen the cannon in the park there's nothing else to do.

Quote by Lenny Bruce

Topics: Lenny Bruce Quotes

The only truly anonymous donor is the guy who knocks up your daughter.

The only truly anonymous donor is the guy who knocks up your daughter.

Satire is tragedy plus time. You give it enough time, the public, the reviewers will...

Satire is tragedy plus time. You give it enough time, the public, the reviewers will...

There are never enough I Love You's.

There are never enough I Love You's.

The only honest art form is laughter, comedy. You can't fake it... try to fake...

The only honest art form is laughter, comedy. You can't fake it... try to fake...

The liberals can understand everything but people who don't understand them.

The liberals can understand everything but people who don't understand them.

I'll die young, but it's like kissing God.

I'll die young, but it's like kissing God.

If you can take the hot lead enema, then you can cast the first stone.

If you can take the hot lead enema, then you can cast the first stone.

The what should be never did exist, but people keep trying to live up to...

The what should be never did exist, but people keep trying to live up to...

Communism is like one big phone company.

Communism is like one big phone company.

If Jesus had been killed twenty years ago, Catholic school children would be wearing little...

If Jesus had been killed twenty years ago, Catholic school children would be wearing little...

I hate small towns because once you've seen the cannon in the park there's nothing...

I hate small towns because once you've seen the cannon in the park there's nothing...

When you're eight years old nothing is your business.

When you're eight years old nothing is your business.

Every day people are straying away from the church and going back to God.

Every day people are straying away from the church and going back to God.

The role of a comedian is to make the audience laugh, at a minimum of...

The role of a comedian is to make the audience laugh, at a minimum of...

If Jesus had been killed twenty years ago, Catholic school children would be wearing little...

If Jesus had been killed twenty years ago, Catholic school children would be wearing little...

All my humor is based upon destruction and despair. If the whole world were tranquil,...

All my humor is based upon destruction and despair. If the whole world were tranquil,...

Guys are like dogs. They keep coming back. Ladies are like cats. Yell at a...

Guys are like dogs. They keep coming back. Ladies are like cats. Yell at a...

Writing a book is not as tough as it is to haul thirty-five people around...

Writing a book is not as tough as it is to haul thirty-five people around...

Cats are rather delicate creatures and they are subject to a good many different ailments,...

Cats are rather delicate creatures and they are subject to a good many different ailments,...

Keep no more cats than will catch mice

Keep no more cats than will catch mice

I saw Hamlet Prince of Denmark played; but now the old plays begin to disgust...

I saw Hamlet Prince of Denmark played; but now the old plays begin to disgust...

Either what woman having ten pieces of silver, if she lose one piece, doth not...

Either what woman having ten pieces of silver, if she lose one piece, doth not...