I guess I just prefer to see the dark side of things. The glass is always half empty. And cracked. And I just cut my lip on it. And chipped a tooth.

Quote by Janeane Garofalo

Topics: Funny Quotes, Life Quotes

Is being an idiot like being high all the time?

Is being an idiot like being high all the time?

Iraq is a manufactured conflict for the sake of geopolitical dominance in the area.

Iraq is a manufactured conflict for the sake of geopolitical dominance in the area.

Listening to your tape, I was reminded of this poem. It has the central question:...

Listening to your tape, I was reminded of this poem. It has the central question:...

To love is to risk not to be loved in return

To love is to risk not to be loved in return

When I see the American flag, I go, 'Oh my God, you're insulting me.'

When I see the American flag, I go, 'Oh my God, you're insulting me.'

I can do most anything and not have a problem with it. The only time...

I can do most anything and not have a problem with it. The only time...

I absolutely realize that a celebrity spokesperson is not ideal.

I absolutely realize that a celebrity spokesperson is not ideal.

To me, there is no greater act of courage than being the one who kisses...

To me, there is no greater act of courage than being the one who kisses...

I guess I just prefer to see the dark side of things. The glass is...

I guess I just prefer to see the dark side of things. The glass is...

The term 'celebrity' makes my skin crawl.

The term 'celebrity' makes my skin crawl.

I would have to say loneliness is next to uncleanliness.

I would have to say loneliness is next to uncleanliness.

When Communist U.S.S.R. was a superpower, the world was better off. The right-wing media is...

When Communist U.S.S.R. was a superpower, the world was better off. The right-wing media is...

I actually was class clown, but I don't know how that happened because I've never...

I actually was class clown, but I don't know how that happened because I've never...

I say at this point, for different reasons, Bush and Hussein are both very threatening...

I say at this point, for different reasons, Bush and Hussein are both very threatening...

Im sorry for being me. I wont ever do it again.

Im sorry for being me. I wont ever do it again.

Let's be very honest about what this is about. It's not about bashing Democrats, it's...

Let's be very honest about what this is about. It's not about bashing Democrats, it's...