A pun is the lowest form of humor - when you don't think of it first.

Quote by Oscar Levant

Topics: Humor Quotes

I don't drink. I don't like it. It makes me feel good.

I don't drink. I don't like it. It makes me feel good.

There's a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.

There's a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.

I've given up reading books. I find it takes my mind off myself.

I've given up reading books. I find it takes my mind off myself.

I think a lot of Bernstein - but not as much as he does.

I think a lot of Bernstein - but not as much as he does.

A politician is a man who will double cross that bridge when he comes to...

A politician is a man who will double cross that bridge when he comes to...

When I can't sleep, I read a book by Steve Allen.

When I can't sleep, I read a book by Steve Allen.

Schizophrenia beats dining alone.

Schizophrenia beats dining alone.

Underneath this flabby exterior is an enormous lack of character.

Underneath this flabby exterior is an enormous lack of character.

I envy people who drink -- at least they know what to blame everything on.

I envy people who drink -- at least they know what to blame everything on.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm schizophrenic, and so am I.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm schizophrenic, and so am I.

I knew Doris Day before she was a virgin.

I knew Doris Day before she was a virgin.

I have no trouble with y enemies. But my god damn friends... they are the...

I have no trouble with y enemies. But my god damn friends... they are the...

So little time, so little to do

So little time, so little to do

I am no more humble than my talents require.

I am no more humble than my talents require.

What the world needs is more geniuses with humility, there are so few of us...

What the world needs is more geniuses with humility, there are so few of us...

I can remember Doris Day before she was a virgin.

I can remember Doris Day before she was a virgin.

There are two sides to every question: my side and the wrong side.

There are two sides to every question: my side and the wrong side.

I can remember Doris Day before she was a virgin.

I can remember Doris Day before she was a virgin.

So little time and so little to do.

So little time and so little to do.

Every time I look at you I get a fierce desire to be lonesome.

Every time I look at you I get a fierce desire to be lonesome.