A pun is the lowest form of humor - when you don't think of it first.

Quote by Oscar Levant

Topics: Humor Quotes

I think a lot of Bernstein - but not as much as he does.

I think a lot of Bernstein - but not as much as he does.

I have no trouble with y enemies. But my god damn friends... they are the...

I have no trouble with y enemies. But my god damn friends... they are the...

I am no more humble than my talents require.

I am no more humble than my talents require.

I knew Doris Day before she was a virgin.

I knew Doris Day before she was a virgin.

I've given up reading books. I find it takes my mind off myself.

I've given up reading books. I find it takes my mind off myself.

Every time I look at you I get a fierce desire to be lonesome.

Every time I look at you I get a fierce desire to be lonesome.

A pun is the lowest form of humor -- when you don't think of it...

A pun is the lowest form of humor -- when you don't think of it...

A politician is a man who will double cross that bridge when he comes to...

A politician is a man who will double cross that bridge when he comes to...

Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm schizophrenic, and so am I.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm schizophrenic, and so am I.

There are two sides to every question: my side and the wrong side.

There are two sides to every question: my side and the wrong side.

I am no more humble than my talents require.

I am no more humble than my talents require.

The only difference between the Democrats and the Republicans is that the Democrats allow the...

The only difference between the Democrats and the Republicans is that the Democrats allow the...

I envy people who drink - at least they know what to blame everything on.

I envy people who drink - at least they know what to blame everything on.

There's a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.

There's a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.

Once Dwight Eisenhower makes up his mind, he's full of indecision.

Once Dwight Eisenhower makes up his mind, he's full of indecision.

So little time, so little to do

So little time, so little to do

Strip away the phony tinsel of Hollywood and you'll find the real tinsel underneath.

Strip away the phony tinsel of Hollywood and you'll find the real tinsel underneath.

Working in Hollywood does give one a certain expertise in the field of prostitution.

Working in Hollywood does give one a certain expertise in the field of prostitution.

You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood and place it in the navel of...

You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood and place it in the navel of...

I can't talk about Hollywood. It was a horror to me when I was there...

I can't talk about Hollywood. It was a horror to me when I was there...