A pun is the lowest form of humor - when you don't think of it first.

Quote by Oscar Levant

Topics: Humor Quotes

I don't drink. I don't like it. It makes me feel good.

I don't drink. I don't like it. It makes me feel good.

Schizophrenia beats dining alone.

Schizophrenia beats dining alone.

I can remember Doris Day before she was a virgin.

I can remember Doris Day before she was a virgin.

I knew Doris Day before she was a virgin.

I knew Doris Day before she was a virgin.

Behind the phony tinsel of Hollywood lies the real tinsel.

Behind the phony tinsel of Hollywood lies the real tinsel.

Strip away the phony tinsel of Hollywood and you'll find the real tinsel underneath.

Strip away the phony tinsel of Hollywood and you'll find the real tinsel underneath.

I have no trouble with my enemies. But my goddam friends,...they are the ones that...

I have no trouble with my enemies. But my goddam friends,...they are the ones that...

Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm schizophrenic, and so am I.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm schizophrenic, and so am I.

I'm a study of a man in chaos in search of frenzy.

I'm a study of a man in chaos in search of frenzy.

A politician is a man who will double cross that bridge when he comes to...

A politician is a man who will double cross that bridge when he comes to...

I envy people who drink -- at least they know what to blame everything on.

I envy people who drink -- at least they know what to blame everything on.

So little time and so little to do.

So little time and so little to do.

There's a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.

There's a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.

I'm a controversial figure: my friends either dislike me or hate me.

I'm a controversial figure: my friends either dislike me or hate me.

The only difference between the Democrats and the Republicans is that the Democrats allow the...

The only difference between the Democrats and the Republicans is that the Democrats allow the...

I've given up reading books. I find it takes my mind off myself.

I've given up reading books. I find it takes my mind off myself.

So little time, so little to do

So little time, so little to do

My evening visitors, if they cannot see the clock, should find the time in my...

My evening visitors, if they cannot see the clock, should find the time in my...

Sometimes I would almost rather have people take away years of my life than take...

Sometimes I would almost rather have people take away years of my life than take...

A sense of the value of time - that is, of the best way to...

A sense of the value of time - that is, of the best way to...