I can always tell when the mother in law's coming to stay; the mice throw themselves on the traps.

Quote by Les Dawson

Topics: Les Dawson Quotes

I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own.

I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own.

In awe I watched the waxing moon ride across the zenith of the heavens like...

In awe I watched the waxing moon ride across the zenith of the heavens like...

Funny thing how you first meet the woman that you marry. I first met the...

Funny thing how you first meet the woman that you marry. I first met the...

Marriage is an institution and that's where a couple finish up.

Marriage is an institution and that's where a couple finish up.

My wife is a sex object - every time I ask for sex, she objects.

My wife is a sex object - every time I ask for sex, she objects.

I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbour said 'Are you going...

I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbour said 'Are you going...

I went to my doctor and asked for something for persistent wind. He gave me...

I went to my doctor and asked for something for persistent wind. He gave me...

He had ambitions, at one time, to become a sex maniac, but he failed his...

He had ambitions, at one time, to become a sex maniac, but he failed his...

My wife is a sex object - every time I ask for sex, she objects.

My wife is a sex object - every time I ask for sex, she objects.

A man is a very small thing, and the night is very large and full...

A man is a very small thing, and the night is very large and full...

Men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all the other alternatives.

Men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all the other alternatives.

If so many men, so many minds, certainly so many hearts, so many kinds of...

If so many men, so many minds, certainly so many hearts, so many kinds of...

Men must be governed by God or they will be ruled by tyrants

Men must be governed by God or they will be ruled by tyrants

Man loves company even if only that of a small burning candle

Man loves company even if only that of a small burning candle

Men are slower to recognize blessings than evils.

Men are slower to recognize blessings than evils.

A really great man is known by three signs: generosity in the design, humanity in...

A really great man is known by three signs: generosity in the design, humanity in...

Men are going to have to learn to be managers in a world where the...

Men are going to have to learn to be managers in a world where the...

The great trouble with most men is that those who have been educated become uneducated...

The great trouble with most men is that those who have been educated become uneducated...

People talk about the courage of condemned men walking to the place of execution: sometimes...

People talk about the courage of condemned men walking to the place of execution: sometimes...

Ignorant people see life as either existence or non-existence, but wise men see it beyond...

Ignorant people see life as either existence or non-existence, but wise men see it beyond...

Well, people got attatched. Once you cut the umbilical cord they attatched to the other...

Well, people got attatched. Once you cut the umbilical cord they attatched to the other...

When a woman has scholarly inclinations there is usually something wrong with her sexuality.

When a woman has scholarly inclinations there is usually something wrong with her sexuality.