I can always tell when the mother in law's coming to stay; the mice throw themselves on the traps.

Quote by Les Dawson

Topics: Les Dawson Quotes

I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own.

I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own.

Funny thing how you first meet the woman that you marry. I first met the...

Funny thing how you first meet the woman that you marry. I first met the...

I went to my doctor and asked for something for persistent wind. He gave me...

I went to my doctor and asked for something for persistent wind. He gave me...

He had ambitions, at one time, to become a sex maniac, but he failed his...

He had ambitions, at one time, to become a sex maniac, but he failed his...

I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbour said 'Are you going...

I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbour said 'Are you going...

Marriage is an institution and that's where a couple finish up.

Marriage is an institution and that's where a couple finish up.

My wife is a sex object - every time I ask for sex, she objects.

My wife is a sex object - every time I ask for sex, she objects.

In awe I watched the waxing moon ride across the zenith of the heavens like...

In awe I watched the waxing moon ride across the zenith of the heavens like...

My wife is a sex object - every time I ask for sex, she objects.

My wife is a sex object - every time I ask for sex, she objects.

We all like to hear a man speak out on his convictions and principles. But...

We all like to hear a man speak out on his convictions and principles. But...

Men are at war with each other because each man is at war with himself.

Men are at war with each other because each man is at war with himself.

Man's mind is like a store of idolatry and superstition; so much so that if...

Man's mind is like a store of idolatry and superstition; so much so that if...

A man should never put on his best trousers when he goes out to battle...

A man should never put on his best trousers when he goes out to battle...

In life we shall find many men that are great, and some that are good,...

In life we shall find many men that are great, and some that are good,...

I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous...

I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous...

Very little of the great cruelty shown by men can really be attributed to cruel...

Very little of the great cruelty shown by men can really be attributed to cruel...

Religion is essentially the art and the theory of the remaking of man. Man is...

Religion is essentially the art and the theory of the remaking of man. Man is...

A woman's best protection is a little money of her own.

A woman's best protection is a little money of her own.

The men who try to do something and fail are infinitely better than those who...

The men who try to do something and fail are infinitely better than those who...

Men do not quit playing because they grow old; they grow old because they quit...

Men do not quit playing because they grow old; they grow old because they quit...

A girl's legs are her best friends, but the best of friends must part.

A girl's legs are her best friends, but the best of friends must part.

There are so many pressures that are put upon young women. Whatever we can do...

There are so many pressures that are put upon young women. Whatever we can do...