He had ambitions, at one time, to become a sex maniac, but he failed his practical.

Quote by Les Dawson

Topics: Funny Quotes, Sex Quotes

Funny thing how you first meet the woman that you marry. I first met the...

Funny thing how you first meet the woman that you marry. I first met the...

I went to my doctor and asked for something for persistent wind. He gave me...

I went to my doctor and asked for something for persistent wind. He gave me...

I can always tell when the mother in law's coming to stay; the mice throw...

I can always tell when the mother in law's coming to stay; the mice throw...

Marriage is an institution and that's where a couple finish up.

Marriage is an institution and that's where a couple finish up.

I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own.

I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own.

In awe I watched the waxing moon ride across the zenith of the heavens like...

In awe I watched the waxing moon ride across the zenith of the heavens like...

My wife is a sex object - every time I ask for sex, she objects.

My wife is a sex object - every time I ask for sex, she objects.

I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbour said 'Are you going...

I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbour said 'Are you going...

My wife is a sex object - every time I ask for sex, she objects.

My wife is a sex object - every time I ask for sex, she objects.

Solitude is the profoundest fact of the human condition. Man is the only being who...

Solitude is the profoundest fact of the human condition. Man is the only being who...

It's not the men in your life that matters, it's the life in your men.

It's not the men in your life that matters, it's the life in your men.

In life we shall find many men that are great, and some that are good,...

In life we shall find many men that are great, and some that are good,...

I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous...

I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous...

Men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all the other alternatives.

Men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all the other alternatives.

Every time a man expects, as he says, his money to work for him, he...

Every time a man expects, as he says, his money to work for him, he...

Men are only as loyal as their options.

Men are only as loyal as their options.

War is the father of us all, King of all. Some it makes gods, some...

War is the father of us all, King of all. Some it makes gods, some...

Women's hands, heavy with diamonds, stirred coffee in tiny cups or alighted playfully on a...

Women's hands, heavy with diamonds, stirred coffee in tiny cups or alighted playfully on a...

A man marries to have a home, but also because he doesn't want to be...

A man marries to have a home, but also because he doesn't want to be...

Don't leave a piece of jewelry at his house so you can go back and...

Don't leave a piece of jewelry at his house so you can go back and...

Little do women know what big ideas I have in my pants.

Little do women know what big ideas I have in my pants.

You don't know a women till you've met her in court.

You don't know a women till you've met her in court.