I believe that the government that governs best is a government that governs least, and by these standards we have set up a fabulous government in Iraq.

Quote by Stephen Colbert

Topics: Humor Quotes

I'm not a fan of facts. You see, facts can change, but my opinion will...

I'm not a fan of facts. You see, facts can change, but my opinion will...

In order to maintain an untenable position, you have to be actively ignorant. One motto...

In order to maintain an untenable position, you have to be actively ignorant. One motto...

I don't trust books. They're all fact and no heart.

I don't trust books. They're all fact and no heart.

Shamelessness is a wonderful part of the character.

Shamelessness is a wonderful part of the character.

Here's how it works: the president makes decisions. He's the decider. The press secretary announces...

Here's how it works: the president makes decisions. He's the decider. The press secretary announces...

The greatest thing about this man is he's steady. You know where he stands. He...

The greatest thing about this man is he's steady. You know where he stands. He...

When the president decides something on Monday, he still believes it on Wednesday - no...

When the president decides something on Monday, he still believes it on Wednesday - no...

There's nothing wrong with being gay. I have plenty of friends who are going to...

There's nothing wrong with being gay. I have plenty of friends who are going to...

Believe in me, cause I don't believe in anything, and I wanna be someone to...

Believe in me, cause I don't believe in anything, and I wanna be someone to...

Fake news executives are nicer than real news executives, though real news executives are funnier...

Fake news executives are nicer than real news executives, though real news executives are funnier...

In order to be a top-tier candidate, I need 7.5 million dollars, and I currently...

In order to be a top-tier candidate, I need 7.5 million dollars, and I currently...

I can't prove it, but I can say it.

I can't prove it, but I can say it.

I don't trust books. They're all fact and no heart.

I don't trust books. They're all fact and no heart.

As God said to Job, Checkmate

As God said to Job, Checkmate

I don't trust books. They're all fact and no heart.

I don't trust books. They're all fact and no heart.

I just think Rosa Parks was overrated. Last time I checked, she got famous for...

I just think Rosa Parks was overrated. Last time I checked, she got famous for...

Now we all know that Fidel Castro dressed up like Marilyn Monroe and gave JFK...

Now we all know that Fidel Castro dressed up like Marilyn Monroe and gave JFK...

I can't prove it, but I can say it.

I can't prove it, but I can say it.

The longest word in the english language is the one that follows the phrase, 'And...

The longest word in the english language is the one that follows the phrase, 'And...

I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning,...

I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning,...

If you don't like the news, go out and make some of your own.

If you don't like the news, go out and make some of your own.