I believe that the government that governs best is a government that governs least, and by these standards we have set up a fabulous government in Iraq.

Quote by Stephen Colbert

Topics: Humor Quotes

People are constantly saying, 'How's it feel to have such an impact?' I just want...

People are constantly saying, 'How's it feel to have such an impact?' I just want...

Fake news executives are nicer than real news executives, though real news executives are funnier...

Fake news executives are nicer than real news executives, though real news executives are funnier...

There's nothing wrong with being gay. I have plenty of friends who are going to...

There's nothing wrong with being gay. I have plenty of friends who are going to...

As God said to Job, Checkmate

As God said to Job, Checkmate

I don't trust books. They're all fact and no heart.

I don't trust books. They're all fact and no heart.

Isn't an agnostic just an atheist without balls?

Isn't an agnostic just an atheist without balls?

I just think Rosa Parks was overrated. Last time I checked, she got famous for...

I just think Rosa Parks was overrated. Last time I checked, she got famous for...

Here's how it works: the president makes decisions. He's the decider. The press secretary announces...

Here's how it works: the president makes decisions. He's the decider. The press secretary announces...

I don't like books, they're all fact, no heart.

I don't like books, they're all fact, no heart.

Truthiness is what you want the facts to be as opposed to what the facts...

Truthiness is what you want the facts to be as opposed to what the facts...

I can't prove it, but I can say it.

I can't prove it, but I can say it.

I don't trust books. They're all fact and no heart.

I don't trust books. They're all fact and no heart.

When the president decides something on Monday, he still believes it on Wednesday - no...

When the president decides something on Monday, he still believes it on Wednesday - no...

I don't trust books. They're all fact and no heart.

I don't trust books. They're all fact and no heart.

People are constantly saying, 'How's it feel to have such an impact?' I just want...

People are constantly saying, 'How's it feel to have such an impact?' I just want...

Truthiness is tearing apart our country, and I don't mean the argument over who came...

Truthiness is tearing apart our country, and I don't mean the argument over who came...

The greatest thing about this man is he's steady. You know where he stands. He...

The greatest thing about this man is he's steady. You know where he stands. He...

It is written, Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that...

It is written, Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that...

If I have the belief that I can do it, I shall surely acquire the...

If I have the belief that I can do it, I shall surely acquire the...

Heresy is a cradle; orthodoxy a coffin

Heresy is a cradle; orthodoxy a coffin