I wrote things for the school's newspaper, and - like all teenagers - I dabbled in poetry.

Quote by Stephen Colbert

Topics: Stephen Colbert Quotes

I just think Rosa Parks was overrated. Last time I checked, she got famous for...

I just think Rosa Parks was overrated. Last time I checked, she got famous for...

Here's how it works: the president makes decisions. He's the decider. The press secretary announces...

Here's how it works: the president makes decisions. He's the decider. The press secretary announces...

In order to be a top-tier candidate, I need 7.5 million dollars, and I currently...

In order to be a top-tier candidate, I need 7.5 million dollars, and I currently...

Fake news executives are nicer than real news executives, though real news executives are funnier...

Fake news executives are nicer than real news executives, though real news executives are funnier...

I can't prove it, but I can say it.

I can't prove it, but I can say it.

You shouldn't listen to us at all if you're looking for information. We don't take...

You shouldn't listen to us at all if you're looking for information. We don't take...

I don't trust books. They're all fact and no heart.

I don't trust books. They're all fact and no heart.

Isn't an agnostic just an atheist without balls?

Isn't an agnostic just an atheist without balls?

I don't like books, they're all fact, no heart.

I don't like books, they're all fact, no heart.

People are constantly saying, 'How's it feel to have such an impact?' I just want...

People are constantly saying, 'How's it feel to have such an impact?' I just want...

Truthiness is tearing apart our country, and I don't mean the argument over who came...

Truthiness is tearing apart our country, and I don't mean the argument over who came...

I don't trust books. They're all fact and no heart.

I don't trust books. They're all fact and no heart.

When the president decides something on Monday, he still believes it on Wednesday - no...

When the president decides something on Monday, he still believes it on Wednesday - no...

As God said to Job, Checkmate

As God said to Job, Checkmate

Believe in me, cause I don't believe in anything, and I wanna be someone to...

Believe in me, cause I don't believe in anything, and I wanna be someone to...

Here's how it works: the president makes decisions. He's the decider. The press secretary announces...

Here's how it works: the president makes decisions. He's the decider. The press secretary announces...

I believe that the government that governs best is a government that governs least, and...

I believe that the government that governs best is a government that governs least, and...

Now we all know that Fidel Castro dressed up like Marilyn Monroe and gave JFK...

Now we all know that Fidel Castro dressed up like Marilyn Monroe and gave JFK...

Humor is laughing at what you haven't got when you ought to have it.

Humor is laughing at what you haven't got when you ought to have it.

The people who fear humor - and there are many -are suspicious of its power...

The people who fear humor - and there are many -are suspicious of its power...