I wrote things for the school's newspaper, and - like all teenagers - I dabbled in poetry.

Quote by Stephen Colbert

Topics: Stephen Colbert Quotes

Here's how it works: the president makes decisions. He's the decider. The press secretary announces...

Here's how it works: the president makes decisions. He's the decider. The press secretary announces...

There's nothing wrong with being gay. I have plenty of friends who are going to...

There's nothing wrong with being gay. I have plenty of friends who are going to...

I don't trust books. They're all fact and no heart.

I don't trust books. They're all fact and no heart.

Shamelessness is a wonderful part of the character.

Shamelessness is a wonderful part of the character.

Even the weather page is in a state of moral decay. Whats wrong with red,...

Even the weather page is in a state of moral decay. Whats wrong with red,...

Truthiness is what you want the facts to be as opposed to what the facts...

Truthiness is what you want the facts to be as opposed to what the facts...

I can't prove it, but I can say it.

I can't prove it, but I can say it.

I'm not a fan of facts. You see, facts can change, but my opinion will...

I'm not a fan of facts. You see, facts can change, but my opinion will...

I don't trust books. They're all fact and no heart.

I don't trust books. They're all fact and no heart.

I don't like books, they're all fact, no heart.

I don't like books, they're all fact, no heart.

In order to maintain an untenable position, you have to be actively ignorant. One motto...

In order to maintain an untenable position, you have to be actively ignorant. One motto...

In order to be a top-tier candidate, I need 7.5 million dollars, and I currently...

In order to be a top-tier candidate, I need 7.5 million dollars, and I currently...

The greatest thing about this man is he's steady. You know where he stands. He...

The greatest thing about this man is he's steady. You know where he stands. He...

Believe in me, cause I don't believe in anything, and I wanna be someone to...

Believe in me, cause I don't believe in anything, and I wanna be someone to...

Fake news executives are nicer than real news executives, though real news executives are funnier...

Fake news executives are nicer than real news executives, though real news executives are funnier...

I just think Rosa Parks was overrated. Last time I checked, she got famous for...

I just think Rosa Parks was overrated. Last time I checked, she got famous for...

Now we all know that Fidel Castro dressed up like Marilyn Monroe and gave JFK...

Now we all know that Fidel Castro dressed up like Marilyn Monroe and gave JFK...

Nothing makes you look younger than an old photo.

Nothing makes you look younger than an old photo.

When you graduate from high school, you also graduate from wearing a letterman jacket...forever.

When you graduate from high school, you also graduate from wearing a letterman jacket...forever.

What do you call a computer that can sing? A dell.

What do you call a computer that can sing? A dell.