I always look behind the shower curtain before I go pee...you know, incase there is a murderer...

Topics: Shit Happens Quotes

That awkward moment when you sing the wrong part of a song with confidence.

That awkward moment when you sing the wrong part of a song with confidence.

That awkward moment when you walk into a room and realize you completely forgot what...

That awkward moment when you walk into a room and realize you completely forgot what...

Walking down the stairs and thinking that there's another step until you hulk stomp the...

Walking down the stairs and thinking that there's another step until you hulk stomp the...

The awkward moment when the weirdest person in your school gets a boyfriend and you're...

The awkward moment when the weirdest person in your school gets a boyfriend and you're...

Locking your car again because you can't remember if you heard the horn beep the...

Locking your car again because you can't remember if you heard the horn beep the...

That awkward moment when someone says 'Hello!' and you are like 'Good thanks!'

That awkward moment when someone says 'Hello!' and you are like 'Good thanks!'

That moment of embarrassment when you wave at someone but they don't wave back.

That moment of embarrassment when you wave at someone but they don't wave back.

Just because nobody complains doesnt mean all parachutes are perfect.

Just because nobody complains doesnt mean all parachutes are perfect.

Texting someone while you're half asleep then reading your text in the morning and realizing...

Texting someone while you're half asleep then reading your text in the morning and realizing...

Finding out your crush isn't at school today and feeling like you wasted a perfectly...

Finding out your crush isn't at school today and feeling like you wasted a perfectly...

That awkward moment when you're checking yourself out in the window of another car and...

That awkward moment when you're checking yourself out in the window of another car and...

The awkward moment when you think a customer is a salesperson.

The awkward moment when you think a customer is a salesperson.

That awkward run you do when a car lets you cross the street.

That awkward run you do when a car lets you cross the street.

Driving to work playing the 'Let's see how long I can drive with my gas...

Driving to work playing the 'Let's see how long I can drive with my gas...

If you love yourself, you're conceited. If you hate yourself, you want attention. We're screwed...

If you love yourself, you're conceited. If you hate yourself, you want attention. We're screwed...

I hate when I can't remember if I am drying off my face with the...

I hate when I can't remember if I am drying off my face with the...

You can plan a pretty picnic but you cant predict the weather.

You can plan a pretty picnic but you cant predict the weather.